All I Want
by BeckyLeeBarakat
Summary: Jack Barakat/All Time Low fanfic. Title   song by A Day To Remember
1. Prologue

Hey :D

This is my first English fanfic. I'm German so... please don't be too harsh ;)

Thanks for every review and if you find any mistakes... Tell me :)

Thanks, Rebekka

If that's how my life's supposed to be… Take it. I don't want it anymore. I mean… It's hard for a 17 years old lesbian to live in Baltimore if her family is kind of conservative. I could never ever tell them the truth. And worst of all: There are guys who actually like me. Even if I don't know why I can't change the way it is. You see… My life isn't that easy but… the best thing in my life is my guitar. Not even my friends because they can't express my emotions. My guitar can.

"Mary? Are you at home?" my mom asked and closed the door. I rolled my eyes and thought about saying nothing.

"Yeah, mom." I answered and stood up. I should go down stairs and say hello to her probably. But then I heard that Jerry were there and I stayed in my room. Jerry is her boyfriend and even though my mm's already 42 he still thinks she's sexy and he likes to show that. I don't do and all the time when he's around her I try to avoid his presence. Unfortunately, that means I don't have the chance to hang out with my mom all the time. I really like her. I mean like a friend or something like that but when he's there she's kinda weird and tries to act as if she were 19.

And… yeah. That's pretty everything about my life. Kinda annoying, isn't it? But I think I've got to make the best out of it. If the life gives you a lemon you should try to make lemonade out of it. Right?


	2. Chapter 1

Later that day the phone rang. My mom wasn't at home so I had to answer it.

"Hello?" I said broadly.

"Mary? It's me, Riley!" she answered. Riley was some kind of best friend to me. We hung out a lot and we had the same taste of music, movies and books.

"Oh, hey Riley! How are you?" I asked. Actually I looked out for a quite long conversation. We talked very long. Every day.

"I'm fine thanks. What about you?"

"My mom's not at home so… I run through every single room without wearing anything." Riley chuckled.

"But I didn't want to talk to you so long… I actually wanted to know if I can go over to your house… I got a surprise for you and I know you'll love it."

"Okay… I'll get some clothes. Bye."

About 30 minutes later I opened the door and Riley came in. A large grin was plastered into her face.

"What's up?" I asked and went to the living room where I fell onto the couch.

"You won't believe it." Riley murmured. Her smile was getting even more beamy.

"I could if you told me. So do it." I answered and sat up. But instead of saying anything Riley was quiet and waited for something. Oh… I should play the game. Right.

"So… What's the surprise you wanted to show me?" I wanted to know. Honestly, I tried not to sound that annoyed.

"Close your eyes." she demanded. I rolled my eyes but finally closed them though I didn't know if she would just take it out or kill me with a sharp knife.

"You can open them up again."

And then I saw one of the most beautiful things I ever saw in my entire life.

Two backstage tickets for All Time Low. I knew they were playing here but I couldn't get any tickets even though Riley's Dad had a big influence on the organizers. Now I knew why she just giggled when I asked her to beg him for some tickets.

"Oh my fucking god!" I screamed. "Oh my fucking Christ!"

"But you don't even know the best thing." Riley grinned and gave me one of the tickets.

"What could be better?" I asked dreamily. I really tried but I couldn't stop smiling somehow.

"We'll meet them."

"All of them?" Doubtfully I raised an eyebrow. I knew Alex was her favorite. Maybe we would only meet him.

"All of them." Riley nodded to back up her words.

"Whoa!" I yelled, stood up and began to run through the whole house. "I will meet All Time Low!" I couldn't stop screaming. Okay, I agree… I didn't even want to.

I was so lost in being happy and running around that I didn't even realize my mom came in.

"I'm gonna meet All Time Low!" I screamed and put my arms around her. We danced a few seconds 'til I continued jumping up and down.

"You know how sexy you are when you're dancing?" Jerry asked my mom pretty mutedly but loud enough for me to hear it.

"Put your self together and get control over your twisted mind, dude!" I exclaimed and grinned at them.

"Mary…" my mom said reprehensively but I just shrugged my shoulders. "Sorry" I answered. "All Time Low!"


	3. Chapter 2

"Oh, I dunno what to wear…" Riley said. I rolled my eyes and sat down on her bed. "How about being naked? Maybe Alex would like to fuck you then." She hit me and laughed. We all knew he was her favorite and I was pretty sure she would die for him.

"I don't understand why you don't love them the way I do." she went on. I just sighed. "I don't 'cause I don't like boys at the moment…" My best friend raised an eyebrow. "'At the moment'?" I just shook my head.

"You know what I mean." I answered. "No, I don't. Explain." she demanded. I sighed again and thought about how to begin.

"You know, I didn't love a boy since four years. I just don't like them that way. But I don't think that's gonna last for ever. I mean, if I met a really cool guy… I could fall in love with him…" Riley grinned. "Alex is a really cool guy."

"A: He's yours, B: He looks like a girl so I don't have to change expect the sexual point of view." She hit me again. "Hey!" I exclaimed. "And, you're right. He IS definitely mine."

"Yeah, you know, I think the whole world knows you wanna marry him so… please… stop hurting me?"

"Oh, come on! You didn't even feel anything."

"I've got bruises." I answered seriously.

"They aren't because of me... Everybody knows you like rough sex." Now it was my turn to hit her. "Fuck you!" I shouted acting to be extremely huffy.

"No, I won't fuck me, I will fuck Alex G!"

"You're so poetical."

"What?" she asked and looked at me confused.

"You didn't notice that it rhymed?" I asked. She shook her head. "Oh, yeah, I forgot… Your mind was full of Alex…"

'

'

About an hour later we stood in front of the hall

"Oh my god! We will meet them, we will meet them!" Riley whispered excitedly.

"Slow down a bit, darlin'" I murmured not even realizing the big smile. The gladness was written all over my face.

"What? Your smiling so broadly… I think I can see every single tooth."

"Riley?"

"Hm?"

"Please… Would you try not to stare at him that obviously?" I demanded as nicely as I could.

"What?"

"Try not to rape him." The door in front of us opened and we entered a quite big room. There were two sofas, a TV set and even a bar.

"Hey… You're Riley and Mary, right?" We nodded. "The guys will be here in a minute… Just sit down." We did what she wanted.

"I'm so excited!" "…and I just can't hide it!" I completed here sentence humming the melody. "Put yourself together, dude… They'll be here in a second!"

"Calm down, sweetheart…" I giggled.

We heard steps behind us and turned around. And there they were:

Alex, Zack, Jack and Rian. All Time Low!


	4. Chapter 3

„Hey!" they shouted almost synchronistically and Jack and Alex even waved to us. My smile became a grin and Riley was about to faint.

"Hi!" she aspirated. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head without losing the simper.

"Don't pay any attention. She's just freakin' out a bit." I said. They sat down on the other couch and looked at us expectantly.

"So… I'm sure you've some questions?" Riley nodded and tried to concentrate on something else than Alex. It wasn't successful.

"I think we know everything we need to know from the interviews on the internet. So… I don't know what to ask 'cause all my questions were pretty sexual and X-rated." I answered. Jack grinned at me. "I'm ready. Just ask!"

"What's your favourite sexual position?" I asked and choked down the laughter.

"I enjoy Doggy Style." Alex answered.

"Me too", Rian said.

"I dunno…", Zack murmured.

"I like the Pinwheel." Jack announced.

"What? What's the Pinwheel?" Alex wanted to know and seemed to be a bit confused.

"Oh… I don't think I should explain… You need to experience that…" I laughed at the thought how Jack found out what the Pinwheel is because I knew it from the Cosmopolitan website and the imagination how he found that with his glasses on his nose and that incomparable smile on his face…

"Okay… Maybe we could ask you a few questions?" Alex proposed. Riley nodded again. Did anybody else realize that she didn't even talk to them? I mean… She wasn't here just to stare at Alex like a fucking stalker or something like that.

"What's your favourite song at the moment?"

"Lost In Stereo" Riley answered without any hesitation but I had to think about that. There were so many good songs I liked to listen to.

"Jasey Rae" I finally said, "because I love the lyrics and my middle name is Rae."

"Oh, middle names!" Jack said and smiled.

"Yeah… My favourite one is William." I answered. "Oh, come on! That's a normal name!" Alex moaned.

"… if you're born in the late middle ages." Zack completed his sentence and grinned.

"Zachary Steven? Really? And you're making fun of my name?" Riley giggled.

"Oh, I almost forgot about you!" Alex said and turned to her.

"And we almost forgot about your gifts!" I mentioned and looked at my best friend. She took out the packs and lend them to the guys.

Rian got some sticks with his name on them, Zack got a shirt and a card with the inscription "because it seemed as if you haven't any…", Alex got a flat iron and Jack got a inflatable doll.

"Oh, you're so nice!" this dark haired guy exclaimed and hugged at first Riley then me.

*the flat iron: http:/flatironcritic..


	5. Chapter 4

"So… where do you come from?" After a few minutes Riley wasn't that excited anymore and she even talked to Alex. Mysterious.

"We're actually from Baltimore." she answered.

"Cool!" Jack said and the other guys agreed.

"And what do you like to do in your free time?"

"Havin' rough sex." I replied and grinned at Riley. She laughed.

"No, we like to hang out and to listen to some music. Mary plays the guitar and sometimes she sings."

"Yeah, but my voice is the worst thing you ever heard…" I murmured.

"No, it isn't and you know that. You're just way too shy to sing in front of them." Riley told me and looked at me requesting. I shook my head. "No, I'm not too shy. A: We don't got any guitar in here and B: I can't sing. You know that and I don't think they would listen to something like that."

"Er… I think we could get a guitar. I mean, I'm a guitarist and if I ask for my own instrument they should bring it." Jack said. I was pretty shocked and only stared at him when he left the room.

"Fuck… I hate you so much…" I whispered and hoped that only Riley understood what I said.

"Here we are!" Jack exclaimed as he came back with a guitar in his hands.

"Dude... Didn't you say you'd take one of your guitars?" Alex asked.

"Yeah… why?"

"That's one of mine?"

"Oh, come on… She seems to be good at playin'."

"You know that's not the reason why I fussed… You always fall on the ground because you can't control your own body." Alex smirked.

"I still love you, honey. 'til death." Jack smiled at him dreamily and handed me the guitar. I took it and tried not to freak out.

"Just play, it's okay, you don't need to be that excited. We're normal humans." Rian said.

"It's not because of that… It's just… because… I will play Alex Gaskarth's guitar. I mean he played Therapy with this instrument and I'm touching it right now." My voice sounded pitched up and Riley seemed a bit jealous. She could only play four chords and it wasn't a good idea to let her play but I think she just wanted to hold something in her hands Alex has touched.

"I dunno what to play…" I admitted and tried to remember any song. "Oh, okay, I know one…" One of my favorite bands was Blink 182 and I began playing First Date. Honestly, I don't know why I picked that song. Probably because I like it and when I looked at Jack it has to be one of their songs 'cause he was wearing one of their shirts.

After finishing the song I blushed when I realized that they where all staring at me. Except Riley. She was still staring at Alex.

"You're just…" he began but didn't finish the sentence.

"Awesome" Rian mentioned.

"Amazing!" Jack said. I blushed again and didn't know what to look at.

"Thanks…" I murmured and gave the guitar back to Jack. "Do you play in a band?" Zack wanted to know. Instead of answering I just shook my head.

"You definitely should!" Alex decided and seemed to be serious about that.

"Er… Thank you but I don't think so." I replied and smiled.

"Oh… Fuck, yeah!" Jack yelled and smirked. "I have an idea!"


	6. Chapter 5

"What is it?" Alex asked and looked at him curiously.

"We could let her sing something!" Jack announced and smiled broadly.

"What? No, no!" I disagreed and shook my head vehemently.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Alex said and nodded.

"No!" They didn't even realize that I was talking. Riley hit my shoulder.

"Shut the fuck up! If you sing with them, we can stay here much longer and maybe we'll do something with them after the show… We could get their real phone numbers!" I shook my head again.

"Oh, please!" she demanded and looked at me suppliantly. What should I say? My best friend asked me and All Time Low seemed to like my voice. I mean they wouldn't let me sing if they wouldn't.

"Er… I think… I think I could do it. I know all the words and actually I like the song pretty much." I finally agreed grudgingly.

"That's pretty cool." Zack said. "I don't like it when Alex sings both parts. That always seems a bit schizophrenically."

"Actually I wanted to sing that part. You know, I'm his lady." Jack mentioned.

"Oh, my pumpkin, my little sweetheart!" He scrambled over Zack and Rian and kissed Alex's cheek.

"I still got one question." Riley murmured. "Did you ever read a fan fiction about yourselves?"

Zack, Rian and Jack began to laugh loud. Alex just seemed to be frightened.

"Yeah, I did it. Once. It was about me and Jack and we were homosexual."

"So there's only one question left." I reasoned. "Who was seme and who was uke?" I asked.

"What?"

"Seme is the… the active one, the one who fucks the uke." I explained.

"What the fuck!" Rian exclaimed. "Why do you know that?"

"Internet."

"Why the fuck are you searching for something like that?" Zack asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"I was interested in that. I mean if you read gay sex scenes and suddenly there are words you don't you, you just google them." Riley laughed. We read many stories together so she knew what we were talking about.

"So… do you like gay sex?" Jack asked and smirked sassily. I tried to hold back my laughter but I couldn't.

"No, I'm totally asexual!"

"Bummer! Otherwise I could have fucked you tonight after the show!" Zack and Rian giggled but he didn't seem to be kidding.

"No, I think the only one who will have sex tonight is Riley 'cause she'll probably be fucked by Alex's voice. But honestly it's true… It's a voice porn!"

She tried not to blush but it failed.

"I think we should go… I mean… Sound check's waitin' for us." Zack finally said.

"Yeah… but maybe we should take them with us if Mary is goin' to sing." Jack added.

"Oh, you're right." Rian admitted.

"Once in a lifetime…" Alex murmured and got up. "Let's go!"


	7. Chapter 6

The sound check was actually good. I didn't sing that loud and only a few lines but that was enough and I was flipping out and I wanted to scream to relieve the pressure a bit. Riley was standing beside me and tried to calm me.

"Honey, don't forget to breath."

She smiled at me and I could see how happy she was about everything that was about to happen. I wanted to reply her smile though I couldn't. My fingertips and my toes were prickling and I felt unable to breath. My best friend started to stroke my back gently.

"I think you dreamed of being on stage with them?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Not that way… I thought of partying with them. I mean… Those fan girls won't like me. They don't like any girls who sing with Alex."

"Because they're jealous! They want to be in your place! But they also gotta acclaim if you're good, and they will." Riley answered. I nodded even though I couldn't believe her. I knew what they would say. But why did I even care? Maybe because there could be people who know me, maybe because I've never ever sung in front of such a huge crowd… but maybe the only reason was that I knew I could bungle the whole song.

Jack came up to us and smirked.

"You're as pale as a corpse… Don't think about it that much. Just enjoy yourself… I'm sure you'll do a good job." He winked and went out again.

"Great. I'm lookin' like a fucking corpse." I repeated his words. Riley laughed. "Good analogy" I hit her shoulder. "Ouch! What was that for?" For dramatic effect I didn't answer. Besides I was sure she knew why.

Finally the show started. The first song the played was "Lost In Stereo". We were backstage and there weren't any fans except us. We knew that before but honestly I wanted to be part of the audience, I wanted to sing so loud that my voice was useless for about three or four weeks, I wanted to jump until my legs where only jelly… That's why I like concerts. You can't move after being there. Or if you could, not without pain. The last time I went to a concert I had muscle ache the next day from the moment I woke up 'til the second I fell asleep again.

"So… Here's the setlist…" Matt Flyzik said and gave me a piece of paper. I nodded at him and thanked then looked at the songs.

"When do you gotta go on stage?" Riley asked and I pointed at it.

"I'm sure you'll be great." someone behind us said. We turned around and saw the guy who tuned the guitars." He smiled at me

"Oh… thanks" This time my simper wasn't a fake and it was the first time when I really felt like I could do this.

On stage Alex and Jack were talking about their own genitalia or those of other people. If you only listen to the audio part it would sound like a narrated porn or something like that.

My pulse was quickening with every second and I thought about two possibilities. Either I could run away or I could just sing the lines. I wasn't that kind of girl who ran away because she was afraid of something and the consequence was… I had to sing. And I would do it. I would. For sure.


	8. Chapter 7

"Okay… I think it's time for a slower song. So, Jack, Zack Rian?" Alex looked at them and smiled. "Fuck off!" He waved to them. His smile turned into a grin. They left the stage and that guy who talked to me a few minutes ago gave Alex another guitar. He strummed four or five bars, then he suddenly stopped.

"I think I can't sing that song alone so… a new friend of mine will help me. I'm sure you'll like her." Finally he began to sing and all the girls started to smile dreamily or to sing along. Someone gave me a microphone and winked.

"I can't, I can't, I can't!" I almost hyperventilated. "Hey, hey! Look at me… You'll be great and you'll wear them totally down!" Riley said and smiled again and even though I couldn't believe in her words I nodded and tried not to die. These were the longest three minutes in my entire live.

"There 20 seconds left…", somebody told me. I closed my eyes and clasped the mic even tighter.

16, 15, 14…

"That's so awesome!" Riley rejoiced.

10, 9, 8, 7…

I went up to the stage and waited for my entry. I looked around the room but no one actually was staring at me. Everybody just watched Alex. A smile sneaked off to my face and I took a deep breath before I began with my part.

"I'm not comin' back, I've done something so terrible…"

I think I lost my excitement after those words and I even sang… impassionedly. When I finished the last note I just stood there and waited 'till Alex completed the whole song. After a few seconds of silence the public began to cheer. Alex turned around and smiled at me. He formed a soundless "Thanks" with his lips, I beckoned to the audience and left the stage.

"Thank you!" Alex shouted. "Oh… I can't believe that this was the first time she sang in front of such sexy motherfuckers!"

"Oh my god!" Riley exclaimed and hugged me. "You were incredible!" I rolled my eyes.

"No, but… thanks."

The remaining period we just stood there and watched them and the more I saw how good they were the more I felt honored. I saw one of their concerts before but, to be honest, I never thought about being on stage with them and the feelin' I got was indescribable.

The last song they played was "Dear Maria, Count Me In". All those people were looking both happy and sad. Happy 'cause they had the possibility to have been here and sad 'cause it had to end. That's something I call after-concert-depression and I got it after every single concert.

The first one who came up to us was Jack. Though he was kinda sweaty I did let him hug me. He tousled my hair and didn't stop 'til I hit his shoulder.

"So… what are we gonna to now?" Riley asked him.

"Er… I dunno… We're probably gonna go to the hotel and take a shower. Hey, wait… Alex?"

"Eh?" He turned around and joined our conversation.

"Do you think it's okay if we take them with us?" Jack asked. Alex first raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.

"Sure. If you want to."

"Yay!" That dark haired guy yelled and picked me up and spinned around.

"Whoa, stop it!" I giggled and hit his back.

Back on my feet again I breathed deeply. Jack left and I turned to Riley. She shook her head.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing." My best friend grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" I queried rhetorically. "Too much Alex…" she murmured. I sighed and began to search for someone to tell us where to go. But actually I didn't have to because Matt was standing behind us. He smiled friendly.

"So, if you're gonna go with us you should probably come with me to the rear exit. We'll go to the tour bus now. Otherwise there will be too many screaming fan girls…"

Riley and I exchanged a glance and followed him.


	9. Chapter 8

Even though we tried to be inconspicuous some people recognized Matt and he had to sign some stuffed animals (especially Micky Mouses…) and to take some photos.

"Whew…" he gasped. We went to the bus and entered.

"Wow! That's the coolest bus I've ever seen!" Riley announced.

"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." Matt answered and went to the kitchen part.

"Do you want something to drink?" My throat was kinda dry so I just nodded. About a minute later he gave us two cups with beer.

"Oh, we're not…" Riley began but I hit her shoulder. "Shut the fuck up!" I whispered. "They don't know how old we are and the won't until you tell them!" I don't know why it was important to me but it was.

"You're not…?" I shook my head and smiled at Matt.

"So… what are we gonna do later?" I asked and tried to change the topic of our conversation.

"I hope they'll be here soon, then we can go to the hotel and finally we'll go and get something to eat… I didn't eat anything since 8 am today…" he murmured.

"Oh, I see. It's urgent." Riley answered and giggled. Did she already drink up the whole cup?

A second later those band dudes we like, or known as "All Time Low", entered the bus.

"Alex!" Riley yelled and stumbled over to him.

"Yay!" he replied. I rolled my eyes and turned to Matt. "Could I get a coffee for her, please? I think she needs that." He laughed. "Seems right…"

I took her arm and pulled her over to the small "kitchen table".

"Why are you already drunk?" I asked. "Did you never ever drink anything before?" Riley shook her head. "No, I didn't"

I sighed. "Wait… drink that and you'll get better." I gave her the cup of coffee but she just looked at it.

"What?"

"Could I get some sugar, please?" I rolled my eyes again. "Just drink it…" I muttered.

"Okay!" she answered and downed it.

"So… I think we're ready to go." Matt said and went to the driver's cab.

"I've one question." I mentioned. Rian looked at me. "Why do you go to a hotel when your actually at Baltimore? I mean, you live here." He laughed.

"We're not going to stay there. But a few guys of the crew will and so we drop them there. And, by the way, it's way faster if we all take a shower at the hotel than to do that at home."

"Oh… yeah, thanks."

The other guys were about to start playin' with some kind of video game. I couldn't see what it was and actually I wanted to assure Riley was dry.

"How are you?" I asked her silently.

"I'm fine and you?" She seemed to be normal again so I just shook my head and grinned.

"So… you're sittin' in the tour bus of "All Time Low"… Are you satisfied now?" She nodded and smiled but then her expression changed.

"What?"

"I gotta call my dad…" she answered and took out her phone. "What are doin'?"

"I'll tell him that we're gonna come home later?"

"No, you won't you'll tell him, that you will stay over night at my house and I'll do the same."

"You'll tell your mom we'll come to your home?"

"Holy shit… What are you talkin' about? We won't come home 'til tomorrow… And even if they'd drop us anywhere… We can go to my sister's apartment. She isn't at home at the moment and I've got the spare key…" Riley thought about it for a second.

"Yeah… I think that's a good idea. Wait a second…" She dialled the number and I waited.

"Hey… hey, dad! I know I told you that Mary and I are going to come home but her mum wanted her to come home and I wanted to know if it is okay if I stay at her home… Okay… thanks! See you tomorrow!" She hang up and grinned.

"So… I just gotta call my mum and tell her that everything's fine." I said. Riley headed to them and sat down on the couch beside Zack.

"Mom? Hey… hi, mom! I just wanted to tell you everything's okay and we're still alive." I told her. She said she was tired and wanted to sleep so we said good night and hung up. She was so trustful… poor, poor mom…


	10. Chapter 9

We were on the way from the hotel to a diner where Alex and Jack used to eat when they were younger. Riley wasn't that hungry so she just ordered a milk shake but I was almost starving so I ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke. I know, such a bunch of food but diet coke… When the waitress went back to the kitchen everybody looked at me as if I were crazy. Honestly I didn't even think it was too much.

"So, where did you go to school?" Jack asked.

"Er… We're actually still going to school…" I answered ashamedly and smiled doubtfully.

"Oh…" He seemed a bit shocked but I was sure he'd survive.

"Where still going to high school and we're going to be seniors next year." Riley replied. I just nodded.

"To tell you the truth… I thought you were some kinda college students." My best friend and I began to giggle.

"What's so funny about that? Your boobs are amazing!"

"Okay, you're right. Our boobs are fucking amazing." I agreed. Jack smiled.

"But… If you're still going to high school… you're not 21 yet, right?"

"Yes…"

"Fuck… So, it would be illegal to intoxicate you." he explained.

"Why should you do that?" Riley asked. I rolled my eyes. "He wants us to be drunk so we can have sex with him."

"I see…" she murmured. Her face turned red and she looked down at the table plate.

"Yeah, we all know that Alex wouldn't even have to intoxicate you…"

"Shut up!" she exclaimed.

"Whoa, ladies… don't argue!" Zack told us and winked which made me smile.

"Sorry, darling…" I murmured into her ear. "I didn't mean it." We both knew that she wasn't angry with me but I liked it to call her darling.

"So… let's talk about you!" Jack decided.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked, my elbows resting on the table.

"What's your favourite colour?"

"Er… I like blue." I answered. "No, wait. Actually my favourite colour is orange." He chuckled.

"What 'bout you?"

"I think I like green." A few seconds, he looked into my eyes. They were green, weren't they? But I didn't have time to think about because the waitress came up to us with two trays full of food. Riley got her milk shake and began to drink with the straw and I got my burger. I eyed it sceptically and took a bite experimentally. After I found it good I swallowed and took a sip of my diet coke.

"I didn't demand of you to eat something like that." Rian said and glanced at my plate.

"Why?" I asked chewing.

"You're kinda skinny." he answered astonishedly. I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore. That was the weirdest compliment I've ever been payed.

"Thanks" I giggled and turned to Riley. She wasn't involved enough so I nudged her with my elbow and smiled at her encouragingly but she seemed to be a bit zoned out.

In the meantime, Jack and Alex had begun to discuss. While I was trying to figure out was the topic was I continued eating my meal. They were talking about… aliens? Why were they talking about aliens?

"Aliens don't exist." Alex said.

"Why? Where do you wanna know that for sure?"

"Don't you think they'd already killed us? I mean, we're such a weak species. They'd probably killed us all and grabbed the world supremacy."

"But, let's suppose that they exist…" "…which the don't do…" "do you think they were hot?" Jack asked.

"What are you talking about?" Alex seemed to be a bit confused.

"Do you think they'd hot bodies?" Jack specified. His buddy shook his head but he didn't want to answer the question, he seemed to be in doubt about Jack's sanity.

"Maybe somewhere out there is a planet named "Planet Porn" where every single alien chick's so damn hot and they're all having sex with one another…"

"Especially lesbian sex." I added and grinned.

"Lesbian aliens? Nah, don't take me for a sucker." Sceptically I raised an eyebrow.

"So, you wanna tell me there's a "Planet Porn" somewhere in our universe where all the aliens are having a big orgy but there aren't any lesbian aliens?"

"Wrong… It's not our universe… It's their universe." Jack replied and smirked. I just shook my head and turned to Riley. She was talking to Zack who seemed to like her and because I didn't want to interrupt their conversation I oriented towards my fries.


	11. Chapter 10

When everybody finished their meals we decided to go to the skate park where Zack and Rian used to practice when they were younger. Did anybody except me notice that we were visiting all the places they liked when they were teenagers? For some reason they even had their boards in the bus so they were actually able to skate. As a warm-up they did a few Ollies but then they began with their pro tricks and I could only stare at their feet. The best skater of all was probably Zack. He'd taken his shirt off once again so he was topless. Even though I didn't find men attractive I had to admit that he was hot in fact. Thankfully everybody else was still wearing their clothes so that I didn't have to cover my eyes with my hands.

Rian was a good skater, too, Alex didn't even try and Jack was only falling on the ground. He stopped his shots before something happened which you could send to scarred. The more I saw Zack skating the more I wished I could to that, too. Don't get that wrong, I wasn't jealous at all. I just wanted to learn it. But then I thought of all the pain, bruises and hurts I'd to bear and went back to admire their abilities.

"Why don't you try it?" Jack asked and sat down beside me. I laughed sarcastically. "I see, you don't know me, dude. I'm not good at that and honestly, I'm not that athletic. But I'm quite good at baseball as a pitcher." I answered.

"I'd like to see that." He replied.

"What? To see me throw a ball like a girl?" I giggled. The dark haired guy shook his head. "No, to see you in skinny clothes." Sceptically I knit my brows. "And I'd like to see you in the middle of lesbian aliens after pretending they don't exist."

"But they'd kill me!" he exclaimed. I just shrugged. "If you'd admit that they're real they wouldn't be angry with you. Besides they'd maybe let you watch their sexual acts."

He smirked. "Oh you'd like that, right?" Jack nodded. "But actually I'd rather be with one girl and my guitar. I think that's all I need."

Riley had begun to talk to Alex. They were sunken in a conversation about her early childhood. She seemed to be happy and so I was. When do you ever get the chance to hang out with your favourite band? Until now I didn't even realize how awesome this evening (or rather night…) actually was.

"Jack?" I bit my bottom lip. "Hm?" Doubtfully I looked down at my hands. "I… I've got a weird question…" He just regarded me and waited. "Can I touch your hair, please?"

He seemed to be confused, first, but then he just smiled and nodded. Carefully I lifted my right hand and placed it on top of his head. I stroke his hair a few times then left my hand sink again.

"I don't think this question's weird. It's okay if you wanna touch me." I rolled my eyes. "If there is someone I'd like to touch it would be Zack probably."

"Oh, please… He's just buff. But I am sexy!" After a second I began to laugh. Loud. Very, very loud.

"Are you laughing at me?" Jack asked angrily. Without any conviction I shook my head but I couldn't stop giggling.

"Oh, wait…" he whispered drastically and started to tickle me.

"So, what did you want to say?" I couldn't answer. "What did you want to say?"

"You're sexy!" I shouted. Matt, Riley and Alex turned around to see what we were doing. "You're so fucking sexy!" Satisfied, he stopped and smirked. I gasped for breath and couldn't do anything else.

Rian came up to us, his board was tucked under his arm.

"I think we're done here." he told us and went to the bus to put the skateboard away.

"Yeah, let's go and get some ice cream!" Jack exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?" He shrugged.

"Sure. In my stomach's always some space for ice cream." Instead of answering I just chuckled. "So, let's go!"


	12. Chapter 11

After we got the ice cream from McDonalds, which was actually Jack's idea, we drove to a place Riley and I already knew. It was some kind of park and at it's limitations were trees and bushes but also (and that was probably the reason why we got there…) there was a fireplace. It reminded me of my days as a scout. We were selling cookies and tinkered friendship bracelets. A smile lit up my face. These were happy times… My life was okay the way it was actually but who didn't want to be a eight-year-old girl?

Matt and Rian made sure that the fire was lightened and finally we sat around that warm, yellow-red and luminiferous flickering. Alex sat next to Riley and Jack next to me.

"You'd think you're tracking me." I said smiling. He chuckled. "Maybe."

Zack came up to us with a crate of beer and the guys were thrilled. Everybody got a bottle, except Riley and me. Disappointed I looked at the beer bottle in Jack's hand. He attempted to follow my gaze and grinned.

"You want some?" he asked and I nodded. "Kay… wait…" He reached for the crate and took a bottle which found itself in my hand a few seconds later.

"Thanks" I said and took a sip.

"So… Your parents should probably be worried, shouldn't they? I mean, your not full age yet." he mentioned. There were two answers crossing my mind: either I could say "Thanks for telling me I'm a child!" or "No, I told her a lie." I took the last one.

"Her? Your mom?"

"My dad died when I was two years old." I replied. "Oh, I'm sorry." Quite emotionless I just shrugged. "I didn't really know him so… I'm not in a blue funk. I mean, it's sad that I didn't have a daddy like everyone else but… I don't know how it is to have one. So, it's pretty normal to me."

"So… what 'bout your family?" I asked and looked into the fire. It was kinda bright but it was also the only thing which lit up our surrounding area.

"Oh, I didn't have a father either." Surprised I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"My father is my mother."

"But… who's you're mother?"

"I don't know. She left after she knocked up my father."

"So, your father is a single mother?" I wanted to know. Jack nodded. "Yeah, he is." Even though I really tried I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore.

"I don't think that's funny." Jack mentioned seriously. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to laugh at your hard past."

A few moments passed by and I had to admit that he was a good actor.

"Oh, c'mon, Jack… Don't be angry with me… I already told you you're sexy and I won't repeat it." I was sure he grinded down his smile but he actually didn't move. Not even an inch. "Please… talk to me…" I begged.

"Compliment me."

"What?"

"You understood what I said." A bit annoyed I exhaled and tried to find the right words.

"You're the cutest guitarist I've ever seen and your voice is incredible. You should sing more in the band. I love your hair because it's so dark and I think you're lanky body is the sexiest thing I could imagine." Okay, if he won't talk to me after that he had to be insane. His head turned to the left where I was sitting and a big smile was plastered into his face.

"Now you're feelin' better, right?" I rolled my eyes and thought about hitting his shoulder but then I dumped down the thought.

"Yeah, way better." I murmured. Jack chuckled, hugged me and tousled my hear.

"Whoa, stop it, man! I hate it when people touch my hair!"

"So, you were allowed to touch my hair but I mustn't touch yours? Kinda unfair, don't you think?" I sighed. "Okay. Do it." He softly stroke my hair.

"Oh, it's so fluffy!" he said with a girly voice. "Don't go overboard…" I mumbled and combed my hair with my fingers.

"No, I like it." he muttered. I laughed. "Let's talk about anything else. Something we both like."

"Blink 182!" he proclaimed. It made me smile how childish he was even though he was about 22 years old. Cute.


	13. Chapter 12

At about 6am Riley and I decided to go home so they brought us to my sister's apartment. We hugged them all and thanked them for having a good time and went inside.

"Oh, thank you!" Riley carked. I knit my brows. "What happened to your voice, bro?" She chuckled but it didn't sound like a human.

"Do you remember when we all sang sittin' round the fire?"

"Sure"

"Well, I think I sang a bit too much." Riley giggled and tripped over her own feet. "Whoa, watch out, cutie." I mumbled and noticed that I actually burred what was probably because I drank four bottles of beer. Or even more, I didn't count them. Thankfully Riley hasn't drunk anything except soft drinks.

"Did you get what you wanted?" I queried. My best friend raised an eyebrow. "Oh, c'mon, am I primed or are you?" A bit annoyed I kneaded a phone with my fingers.

"Oh, yeah, I did." Though I waited she didn't continue. "Whose phone number?"

"Er… Zack's and Alex's. Why so bitchy?" My mien softened and I put my arms around her. "Sorry… I'm just a very impatient person." Riley shrugged and smiled. "Let's go to bed… I'm so tired."

…

I woke up only a few hours later. It was half past 12pm and my mobile rang. To wake up with "Poppin' Champagne" which was my ring tone wasn't the worst way to awake. But the person who called me made the whole situation terrible…

"Hey, mom…" I muttered.

"Where are you?" she asked angrily. Tiredly I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and yawned.

"Where the hell are you?" she repeated. "Whoa… calm down, mom! I'm at Ri-…"

"No, you are not!" I gasped, my eyes wide with horror and because I knew she wouldn't talk to me calmly, I shut my mouth and didn't say anything. "I know you're not at Riley's. I called her dad and he doesn't know either where you are! Where are you?" It was pretty hard to understand her 'cause she was actually screaming but I tried very hard not to lose the plot. Asking what she said wouldn't help at all. I sighed. "We stayed at Hannah's apartment." I answered meekly. My mom breathed out assuaged but she was still mad at me.

"I'll come and take you home." she replied and hung up.

"What the fuck, man…" I hissed and tried to open up my eyes. Thank God, it was still dark in the bedroom. Riley was lying next to me and still asleep. To wake her up I grabbed her shoulder and shaked her a few times.

"Wake up… My mum's going to come for us. We've to be ready in a minute." I got up and went to the bathroom where I washed my face and combed my hair. Even though I knew that my mom wouldn't listen at all I tried to figure out some kind of alibi. It wasn't really an option to tell her the truth. She wouldn't believe me and if she did it wouldn't be helpful to tell her that we drank beer while hanging out with a band and their crew. I yawned again and went to the living room because I wasn't wearing my shoes and they had to be here. Finally, I found them in the kitchen, right beside my pants. Wow. I didn't even notice that I wasn't wearing them anymore.

A minute later the doorbell rang. Even that sounded aggressive and I started to dispose myself for a life-or-death-struggle, or less dramatically, a discussion with my mom.

Riley and I went down the stairs and went past my mom. Hopefully she wouldn't say anything while Riley was still with us. And even though she was pretty upset she stayed quiet and waited until Riley closed the front door. She drove off and bit her bottom lip. I think I inherited that habit from her.

"So… what happened last night?" she asked calmly, maybe too calmly. "We went to the concert."

"Continue." she prompted nicely. Bit by bit I was getting more nervous and anxious. The more she was restrained the more I was getting het up. I didn't know what to say so I just breathed deeply and tried to remember anything I could tell her.

"We met a few cool guys and out with them." I said carefully. "Oh, just a few guys… And why didn't you go to Riley's if you just met "a few guys"?"

"We spent too much time together and we forgot about time."

"So, you just forgot about time?" she queried a bit more exhilarated. I nodded.

"Sorry… I should've called you…" I muttered and tried to seem conscious of guilt. Her face turned red and somehow I knew she was thinking about how to discipline me.

"You know that Jerry and I wanted to go for two weeks to Seattle and actually we wanted you to stay at home alone but… I think we can't do that so I tried to find someone who looks after you." I looked at her haggardly. "Who?" I asked.

"I didn't ask your sister 'cause I know she'd let you go out so I asked Ms. Flinch."

"What? Oh, mom… Please! She hates me and you know that!" My mother grinned priggishly.

"I know."

"Mom, she won't even let me breath! And how does she want to make sure I'm not going out at night?" I asked her.

"She'll stay."

"No, mom! No, no, no! You can't do this to me! She won't even let me go out to go shopping!"

"I think you won't need to. She'll do that."

"Please, mom… I'm sorry, I know what I did wasn't right and you're right, I need to get… cursed with something, but… you can't let me go through this!"

"Oh, I think I can."

I didn't even try to say anything else. It was hopeless. My life would end in less than 20 hours. Great.


	14. Chapter 13

The next day I didn't want to say goodbye to my mom and Jerry. They did something to me which I wasn't willing to forgive. They summoned me but I didn't respond. I decided to stay in bed the whole day long and to wallow in self-pity. If I had to endure something like Ms. Flinch I wanted to avoid her presence.

"Mary!" my mom called. I sighed and didn't even move.

"Mary Rae Eddins!"

"Oh, do you think I'm frightened if you use my full name?" I murmured. Finally I stood up. I knew that she would tell Ms. Flinch that she had to be more careful if I didn't do what she wanted now.

"What?" I asked sheepishly while I was going down the stairs.

"We go now." she mentioned. Jerry was bringing their suitcases to the car while she tried to bid farewell.

"Yeah, I know." I replied and folded my arms.

"Oh, please… Don't be like that… I was worried." A bit softened I looked at her. "I know." I repeated.

"You know that I actually didn't want to do that. And, besides, she'll only stay for one week. Hannah's going to look after you then." A smile lit up my face and I jumped down the last few steps to hug her.

"I love you…" she muttered. "Yeah, I love you, too, mom." I answered. She looked at me keenly. "Don't do anything foolish." she demanded and I just rolled my eyes.

"Mom… I never did something like that before and I won't do it again, okay? Can't we just forget about it? I'm gonna be well-behaved."

"I'm sure you will." she replied and winked at me.

"You have to go." My mom hugged me once more and left so there were only a few minutes left to call Riley and to tell her everything. I dialled her number and waited. Her dad answered the phone.

"Hey, it's me, Mary. Can I talk to Riley, please?"

"Wait a second." he said shortspoken.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ri! How are you?" I asked.

"Wait… Dad? Can I take the phone with me?... Why not?... Please!... Yeah, I'll bring it back in 20 minutes… You heard me, we got 20 minutes. Talk fast." I giggled.

"I don't think that's funny… I'm grounded for two fucking weeks!" She was kinda fussed so I decided to suffer with her together.

"Yeah, me, too. But my sisters is going to be here next week so I'll probably be able to go out." The doorbell rang. "Oh, shit… Ms. Flinch is here. Call me later, bye!" We hung up and I opened the door. With a shy smile on my face I looked at her.

"Hello, Ms. Flinch! How are you today?"

"I'm fine." she answered. 'There we go…' I thought.

She hated my in fact, she really hated me, just because I knocked over her cat. It was a week after I got my driving licence a year ago and she still didn't want to forgive me.

"I'll go upstairs. I have to tidy up my room." I told her.

Maybe I should try to treat her nicely. It would probably help. But at the moment I only had one problem. My mobile rang but I couldn't find it.


	15. Chapter 14

I tried to run and I almost tripped over the last step but finally, I found my mobile lying on the floor of my room.

"Hello?"

"Mary? It's me, mom." Annoyed, I breathed out and rolled my eyes.

"What's up, mom?" I asked. She giggled. "I just wanted to tell you that I already made something to eat for you and Ms. Flinch. It's inside the refrigerator and you can put it in the microwave."

"Thanks, mom. Have fun!" I hung up, sat down and asked myself why I had run. Who else should have been the caller? Because I had nothing to do, I leaned back and closed my eyes. Maybe I should begin to plan how to survive that week. There were two possibilities. Either I could try to suck up to her or I could evade her. It was a good idea to evade her. We didn't like each other so I shouldn't try to spend some time with her 'cause we'd only end up with fighting. But in a subtle way of fighting.

My phone rang again.

"Mom, please… If you have something to tell me, do it now. I was about to take a shower!"

"Er… I'm not your mom." Fucking hell…, I thought and tried to figure out who it was. Definitely a man.

"Oh, hello …?"

"It's me, Jack. I play guitar in All Time Low. You remember?" he asked. I chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I do. So… how are you?" Why didn't I remember that I gave him my phone number? "Everything's cool… What 'bout you?"

"It's okay but… I told you that I'm still living with my mom and I didn't tell her that we weren't going home so she was a bit upset and now I have to spend one week with an old lady called Ms. Flinch who actually hates me."

"Why does she hate you?" Jack seemed to be a bit confused about the fact that somebody doesn't like me.

"Because I killed her cat but I didn't even mean to do that! I just… knocked it over…" He chuckled. "I don't think that's funny… I'm caught here… I'm imprisoned!"

"Oh, poor Mary… Shall I come over and save you?" he asked.

"Are you sure you wanna do that? I think Ms. Flinch is able to kill you with her… hair pins."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I know how to fight." He answered. I giggled and ran my fingers through my hair.

"The only thing I need is you address." So, he really wanted to come over? A bit surprised, I told him everything he needed and hung up. I looked around the room and realized that actually nothing was where it has to be and so it wasn't a lie after all that I had to tidy up my room…

…

It was still pretty cluttered as my phone peeped 'cause I received a message. I didn't know the number so it was probably Jack. Who else should text me that he or she (or it) was here and asked me to open the door because he was afraid of Ms. Flinch.

Once I was downstairs I did what he wanted.

"Hi!" I said and looked at him. "Hey!" he replied and hugged me. "So, what do you wanna do?" Jack asked.

"I dunno… Wait, I'll tell Ms. Flinch you're here…" I went to the living room. She was sitting on the sofa and watching TV.

"Ms. Flinch? A friend of mine came over so, we're upstairs." I told her and turned around. Even if she had something to say I didn't want to listen to her.

"Let's go."

Jack followed me into my room. The first thing he did was to look around.

"Nice" he said and I shrugged. "It's just a room. I mean, there are four walls, a bed, a desk and a wardrobe. Everything you need."

"And…" Jack turned around and pointed at a corner. "a guitar!" he exclaimed. "Sure… You wanna play?"

"If you don't mind." I rolled my eyes. "You're the reason why I bought a guitar." I murmured. "Really? Wow…" My face turned red and I wished he would forget that I just said that.

"Wait… I'll play if you sing." he demanded.

"Oh, okay… Just tell me the song and I'll do what ever you want." Jack grinned. "Let's start with 'Sum 41'." I proposed and sat down. It was a bit weird to sit next to someone I had a nodding acquaintance with and who I fist saw on TV when I was 12 years old. These were the times when I found out what music was to me.

After finishing the first song we continued with his favourite song, Aliens Exist. Even though I wasn't sure if I should sing it 'cause I didn't want to ruin that song he insisted on that.

I was glad that he didn't really look at me by reason that I saw a video once. Riley recorded it and showed me how I was looking when I sang. One thing I can tell about. It wasn't beautiful. And, honestly, I didn't want anybody to see that, especially not him. He seemed to like me and maybe he changed his mind when he saw it. No lie, it's the ugliest thing you've ever seen.

The time passed by and it was about 3pm when my stomach started grumbling and longing for food.

"Are you hungry?" Jack asked and smiled. I shook my head. "Nah, my stomach always sounds like that." I answered sarcastically.

"I go for pizza." he proposed. "No, definitely not. We can't eat pizza…" I replied.

"Why?"

"I… can't tell."

"Oh, c'mon, it's about pizza. P – I – Z – Z – A!"

"I know, it's a very grave affair but… I can't."

I don't know what it was but he looked at me with those puppy eyes and I… I just had to answer.

"Okay… I can't do that because I… god, it's so embarrassing… I look like Gollum while eating pizza."

"Mary, did you hear what I said? It's still pizza! And, by the way, I can' eat either. It's like I didn't learn it when I was young. Sometimes I ask myself if my mom tried to teach me how to eat and stopped when she realized that it was hopeless." I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure yet but if you pretend to be a dyslexic of eating… why not?"

34 seconds later we arrived safely in the kitchen. We decided to take some cheese pizzas. Classic. I was still talking to an Italian guy when Ms. Flinch came in and looked at me and Jack.

"What are you doing?" she asked harshly. "We just ordered some pizzas." I answered.

"Oh, and who is this good looking guy next to you?"

"Er… Ms. Flinch – Jack, Jack that's Ms. Flinch."

"Hello, Jack! How are you?"

"I'm fine. What about you?" he replied.

"I'm fine, too." She went up to Jack and pinched his cheek. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. What the fuck…? I thought.

"Oh, you remind me of Richard."

"Who's Richard?" Jack asked. "Your husband?"

"No… He was my first love. He never left my heart. You look just like Richard." Without even asking she linked arms with Jack and leaded him to the living room where they sat down on the couch and she began to tell him stories about 'Richard'. I didn't even believe that Richard was a real person. Maybe it was her first dog or something like that. If you don't know Ms. Flinch you could think that she's a nice, old Lady and that she's innocent and harmless… She isn't. She definitely isn't. And that's not because she didn't stop talking, it's not even because she touched someone she didn't know… It's because she was still shrugging me off.

I crossed my arms and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. She didn't quit talking. It was terrible! Like an endless fluentness of words. One more reason to hate her.

The doorbell rang, finally, and that nice guy called Robert brought our food.

"Jack!" I called. "Let's eat'em now… I'm starving!"

I grabbed his hand and we went upstairs together into my room where we sat down on the floor.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't know about Richard." Jack chuckled. "It's okay. But, now I now why you don't like her."


	16. Chapter 15

Once we'd brought everything downstairs again we went to my room and I grabbed my guitar.

"Okay… You played and I sang. Let's change places!" I resolved.

"What? No! No, no, no!" Sulky, I pouted.

"Please! I'm sure your voice is great."

Jack shook his head. "No, it isn't. I'm not good at singing. That's why Alex's the singer."

"It doesn't mean that you're bad just because he's better." I answered and began to strum a few chords. "Uhm… I think that's what it means." Vehemently, I shook my head.

"Please…" I repeated and looked suppliantly at him and tried to make my eyes look bigger than they actually are.

"No…"

"Oh… you're such a killjoy…" I murmured. Jack sighed.

"One song. I'll sing one song and we'll never talk about it again." he went on.

"What do you wanna sing? I mean, if you actually don't wanna sing you should be able to choose the song."

"My heart will go on." he answered. I giggled and shook my head. "Sorry… That's one of those few songs I can't play."

"Er… I dunno."

"Running from lions." I suggested. After a short while he nodded. "Sure?" Jack nodded again and I began to play it.

Okay, honestly, his voice wasn't as good as Alex's, but it was… cool. Kinda relaxing and somehow kindly. But at first I didn't say anything and just stared at Jack who didn't look at me while he was singing. Then, he turned back to me and smiled.

"I told you." he said. "No, no. I like your voice. I think you should record lullabies or something like that." Jack chuckled. "Thanks."

At the same moment his phone rang.

"Hey, Alex!... Yeah, cool… Er…I dunno… Yeah… O-okay… Ya… Bye." Jack looked at me and stood up.

"I gotta go. Alex wants me to come over to his house and I think I should go."

I just nodded. But before he left my room, he turned around and rasped the back of his head.

"And… er… we wanted to hang out at Alex's and Rian's so, I… I just wanted to know if you'd like to come, too?" His incertitude turned the sentence into a question.

"I'd love to but Ms. Flinch won't let me go." He giggled. "I think she will let you go. Richard, you remember?"

"Oh… yeah, I forgot about that... or blocked it out."

"I'll call you." I waved to him and watched him go. When I was sure he couldn't hear me anymore I grabbed the phone and dialled Riley's number. Actually she should've called me hours ago.

"Hello?" Thankfully, she answered the phone.

"Hey, it's me, Mary… Why didn't you call me?"

"My dad didn't give me the phone, sorry. But they aren't at home until 8pm so, we've got a little bit time."

"Er… Riley, we got three hours!" I giggled.

"So… how about Ms. Flinch? Did she torture you?"

"No, actually not me."

"But… who else?"

"Jack came over to my place and…"

"Wait, wait, wait… Jack was with you?" she asked. I nodded even though I knew she couldn't see me.

"Yeah, he was." I answered and smiled. "Oh, he touched my guitar! He even played!"

"Let me guess… You sang?"

"Yeah… And he asked me to go with him to Alex's and Rian's tomorrow." I told her.

"Cool, but… I don't think Ms. Flinch will let you go."

"Oh, she definitely will. She seems to love Jack. He reminds her of her first love, Richard."

"Poor Jack!" Riley giggled.

"I know but I think it's better if she likes him. So he can persuade her to let me go with him." I went on.

"Oh, you gotta tell me how it was tomorrow."

We continued talking for more than two hours but then her parents came home and she had to hang up. It wasn't that late so I decided to shower and to brush my teeth. Maybe I should do something like reading a book. But then I recalled my rancor against books and determined to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Watching TV and listening to music would be the best thing to do.

When I came back to my room a few minutes later, wrapped in a towel and with wet hair, I fell onto my bed and grabbed my mobile. That small message icon and Jack's name flashed across the screen and without any hesitation I started reading. He told me when he would come and take me with him. I laughed as I thought of how he came and carried me away and wrote back to him before I turned off the lights and started to flip through the TV channels.


	17. Chapter 16

When I woke up I realized that there were two things which were wrong. First of all: Ms. Flinch hasn't tried to wake me up at 6am. Second: It was already about 1pm. I sat up fast. A bit too fast so I got dizzy and had to lie down again.

"Oh, darling! How are you today! I hope you've got some sleep. You seemed a little bit worn out yesterday."

"Er... Yes, thank you..." I murmured surprisedly. There were so many question haunting my mind. Why the hell was that person standing in front of my bed? And why did she call me "darling"? We were supposed to hate each other, weren't we?

"What about breakfast? I made some pancakes, fried eggs, bacon and toast for you!" That had to be a dream...

I just nodded. Ms. Flinch giggled and left.

"What the fuck..." I whispered and pulled back the blanket before I went to the bathroom and removed my make up.

"Ms. Flinch? Did you see my mobile?" I asked while walking down the stairs. "Ms. Flinch?" She didn't answer but I could hear her talking. And laughing... And there was another voice, too. But whose? And above all... why did I know that voice?

"Oh, Jack! You're so cute!" My jaw dropped and I stopped walking. Probably, I shouldn't go inside. My hair was chaotic and my cheeks were still reddened of sleeping. On the other hand, I shouldn't mind. At the moment I didn't like guys that way and him not either so I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Jack" I said and sat down next to him. Ms. Flinch placed a plate right in front of me and put two or three pancakes on it. Then she gave me the maple sirup and a fork.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked me and smiled at me.

"Er... sure."

"So, what do you want? Coffee, tea...?" I was in pretty good mood so, I decided to capitalize that whole situation.

"I'd like to have a hot chocolate with marshmallows, please."

"Yeah, me, too, please." Jack appended.

"Oh, sure, peanut!" She ran her fingers across his cheeks gently and Jack smirked. When she turned around I looked at him and grinned. He didn't seem to be happy even though he got an authentic British breaktfast (without tomatoes and baked beans but who cares?). While she was waiting for the milk to heat, Jack asked her if she would mind if he took me with him today.

"Why should I mind, sweetie pie? You're such a nice guy! I would let her marry you if I were her mother."

I narrowed my eyes and snuffled. Jack smiled at me but I just rolled my eyes.

...

About one hour later we were about to leave. Ms. Flinch was standing on the porch and waved to us.

"I still can't believe that she's so in love with you..." I murmured shortly after I closed the car door.

"Oh, I think I have to dissappoint her because I don't like women who look like gigantic raisins..." he answered and shook his head.

"By the way... thank you."

"For ...?"

"She finally likes me!" I exclaimed. "And that's only because of you. If you hadn't been with me she'd still hate me."

"Oh... you're welcome." he shrugged.

"What are we gonna do today?" I asked and leaned back.

"I dunno. Maybe we're just gonna hang out, maybe we're gonna... paint the town red, you know."

I was looking forward to spent a day with Jack and Alex and Zack and Rian. Lots of ands and lots of nice guys. The only thing I was worried about was: What were we going to do? I mean... If you spent some time with pubertal guys who don't seem to act very prudentially... But... they were funny and they were members of All Time Low so, I didn't care.

...

Hey :D

Thanks for all the reviews :) You just made my week... And it was the last week of my hollydays, so... I'll try to keep on posting every day. Sorry for being inconsequent ;)

Special thanks to Can'tBeSaved :D I **love** you darlin'!


	18. Chapter 17

"Mary!" Alex screamed when we got out of the car. He ran towards me and wrapped his arms around me. Honestly, he doesn't look like a strong guy but he almost choked me.

"A-Alex… Air!" I forced. Instead of releasing me he just turned that stranglehold into a tight hug.

"Nice to meet you again…" I murmured. From the corner of my eye I saw Rian and Zack standing in front of the house. They seemed to be insecure about the way they should welcome me and just stared at me for a few seconds. Finally, Zack screwed up his courage and went up to me, then hugged me, too. Rian (who was resembling his 15-year-old self at the moment, that chumpy, nappy guy…) was still looking sceptically at me. Maybe he was some kind of shy.

"Hey, Rian!"

I waved to him and he returned that gesture.

"So, what are we gonna do?" I asked them.

"I wanna play football!" Zack exclaimed but Alex shook his head. "No, not today. There are still houndreds of bruises on my right ass cheek… You remember the last time we tried to play football?"

"Er… only the right one?" I asked.

"Yeah, only the right one." Jack answered seriously.

"What about… watching a movie?" Rian suggested. "I mean, we didn't do something like that together for a long time and… maybe we should do that."

Alex nodded. "Even though your words are kinda gay… I have to admit you're right."

"What kind of movie?" I wanted to know.

"Splatter movie!" Jack screamed. Vehemently I shook my head. "No, no way!" I wasn't a softy and when I was younger I used to lambast boys but I didn't like horror or splatter movies anyway. In this regard, I was a girl. A girly girl.

"Okay, so we'll watch 'The Hills Have Eyes'?" I shook my head again. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Oh, you were serious?" Annoyed, I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry but I can't watch movies like that. But if you want to I can go and we can do something tomorrow." Then, I remembered that I didn't know how to come home. Jack took me with him and honestly, I hadn't tried to keep the way in my mind.

"No, no. It's okay. We could watch another movie…" Alex muttered. Jack smiled apologetically at me. "Sorry" he murmured. "It's okay but… I'll tell you why I can't watch'em." I said.

"Now?" he asked.

"No, later."

"I got one!" Alex exclaimed and upheld a DVD.

"American Pie 4?"

The guys seemed to be very, very happy. They almost… rejoiced. But I could understand their reaction. American Pie was a classic.

"Can I have something to drink?" I asked. Alex who was already sitting on the sofa nodded without looking at me. "Kitchen" he went on when I didn't move and pointed at something behind me.

"I'll show you…" Jack said and grabbed my hand to pull me with him.

"So, what do you want?" he wanted to know.

"What does he got?" I countered with a question.

"Er… Beer, Coke, lemonade and mineral water."

"Beer." I answered. Jack raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" I hit his shoulder. "Yes, I am!"

He handed over the bottle and got one for himself. We went back to the others without talking and sat down next to eachother.

We didn't speak during the whole movie but the guys not either. Except those comments like "Whoa! Haha!". Honestly, that's not a real comment but… It was the only thing they said.

"Do you think it feels like fucking a girl if you do that to an apple pie?" Alex asked.

"No, it doesn't…" Jack answered. They almost turned around synchronistically and looked at him sceptically.

"Why do you know that?"

He didn't say anything but I think his cheeks reddened a bit.

"Oh, he did it!" Rian exclaimed. "Yes, he did." Zack affirmed with a big grin plastered into his face.

"What the fuck… Jack, don't tell me you fucked a pie…" I murmured. He didn't even move.

"I can't believe you did it…" I almost whispered.

"It doesn't feel like they say…"

We continued staring at him until he rolled his eyes.

"Can't we talk about anything else?" he pleaded. I shook my head. "You tell us you fucked a pie and then you ask us to stop being nosy?"

"Yeah…"

Zack shrugged. "I think it's better that he fucked a pie instead of a shemale…"

"Oh my god…" Rian said.

"I think it's even weirder that the old women who looks after me wants to call him Richard because he resembles her first love." I told them.

"What? Richard?" I nodded and they began to laugh. And, honestly, they didn't seem to stop so soon.

"Oh, please…" Jack sighed.

"I didn't know you can be that bitchy!" I giggled. He pouted and acted to be sad.

"Nah, Jack… I love you anyways. Even if you fucked a pie…" I put my arms around hin and hugged him tightly.

He smiled and snuggled me. "I love you, too, hun…"


	19. Chapter 18

"How did you get outa your house?" I asked Riley. She was sitting in front of my bed and we were watching TV together. Since she was free she was with me. Wow, that rhymed…

"My dad backed down because my mom talked to him. I think she tries to understand me and my teenager problems…"she answered and smiled.

"So… you're free for the rest of our holiday?" I wanted to know. Without saying anything she just nodded.

"What did you do yesterday?" she asked and started to flip through the channels.

"Er… Yesterday? I hung out with Jack and the guys. Nothing special." I replied.

"What? Nothing special? That is definititely something very, very special."

I rolled my eyes and sighed because Riley was probably going to sound me out and, honestly, they were just four guys. Four normal, famous, nice, crazy guys.

"We watched a movie… and talked about Jack's sex knowledge concerning apple pies." I murmured. Riley raised

"Do I wanna know?"

I shook my head. "You don't wanna know…" I muttered. At the same moment my stomache rumbled and asked for some food.

"I didn't eat anything today… Let's go to get something." I proposed and stood up.

"I don't think that Ms. Flinch gonna let you go. I mean she hates you." Riley answered but I just shook my head. "She'll let me go, believe me."

We went downstairs and put on our shoes.

"Ms. Flinch? We go now… I'll come back before sunset." I bleeped.

"Okay, darling! Bye!"

"What the hell? Did you get her on drugs?" Riley asked.

"Sorta, yeah." I answered and grinned. "She loves Jack and that's the reason why she loves me."

I shrugged and walked across the frontyard. It was about 5pm but thankfully it was summer so we'd be able to head for the supermarket and didn't have to take the car. That was great because I didn't have to spend money for the gasoline. We've been walking a while when Riley asked me a quite weird question.

"What 'bout you?"

I didn't know what she was talking about so, I asked her.

"I'm talking about you and… Jack." she explained. Suddenly, I stopped walking and started to laugh.

"Riley!" I giggled, "Did you smoke something illegal?"

She folded her arms and looked at me huffily.

"What?" I wanted to know.

"Mary, you seem to like him and I don' think he hates you, considering everything you told me. Quite the contrary, I think he likes you a lot." she told.

"That's the most redicular thing I've ever heard" I replied.

"No, it isn't and there will be some day when you'll realize that I'm right." Riley went on.

"Sure but now let's go. I'm still starving."

… (a few hours later…)

It was about 8pm when Riley and I came back. Ms. Flinch seemed to have been fallen asleep on the couch so we went upstairs immidiately and sat down on my bed. The things we've bought were splayed all over the bed and it was quite hard to se my duvet.

"You have something in your mind what to do next week?" I asked Riley while chewing licorice.

"Er, no. Actually I wanted to stay at home or I thought of maybe…"

She didn't finish the sentence and kept staring at her fingers.

"So?"

"Zack called me yesterday and asked me whether I want to do something. Rian is probably going to be there, too." Her cheeks reddened and my jaw dropped.

"You're not trying to tell me you like Zack!" I yelled. She shook her head. "No, no. I'm still in love with Alex." she answered grinning. "But I like them and maybe they can teach me how to skate."

I threw my hands up in horror.

"No, Riley, not really… You're not trying it again!" I said.

"Oh, come on! The last time I tried it was years ago." she replied.

"Yeah, and you stopped because you fell and you broke your fucking wrist." I answered. Riley sighed and opened a bag of paprika-flavoured chips.

"What 'bout watching a movie?" she asked.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." I mentioned dunningly. She poked her tongue out at me and I shied a can of root beer at her. "And… nah, I watched a movie yesterday… But we could…" Still searching something we probably could do without getting hurt I looked around the room and noticed that I had to tidy my room up again.

"We could stalk them!" I proposed.

"Wait… who, how and… why?" Riley wanted to know. I just rolled my eyes.

"The guys, on the internet and… because it's funny."

She nodded and smirked so, I booted up my laptop. It's hilarious how many fanfictions about "Jalex" exist…


	20. Chapter 19

Two days later, my sister came home. She was kinda tanned and her hair seemed to be a bit more lihgtish. When she rang the door bell and yelled "Come over and carry my bags!" I opened the door and screamed "I'm not your fucking slave!", then I grinned and hugged her.  
>"Oh… Mary Rae! How much I missed you, sis!" she told me.<br>"I'll help you carry the suitcases even if you stop sucking up to me." I answered and smiled. Hannah pouted and lowered her eyes. "But I… I love you and I missed you… Why are you so mean to me?" I sighed and rolled my eyes before I put my arms around her and rubbed her back gently. "I love you, too." I murmured. "But we should go inside. Our neighbores are stalkers…"  
>She giggled and followed me into the living room where we fell onto the couch.<br>"Whew… I'm so glad to bo home again…"  
>"How was the trip?" I asked but instead of answering she just waved aside.<br>"I already told so many people about it I'm fed up with it." Hannah answered. "Tell me anything… How 'bout the All Time Low show?"  
>I raised an eyebrow.<br>"Why do you know 'bout that?" I asked.  
>"Mom told me, you remember? That's why I'm here." she replied.<br>"Oh, yeah, right…" I muttered and started smiling. "It was absolutely amazing! I mean, you know, they're my favorite band and I love them and, yeah… Riley got some backstage tickets and we met them. She told them that I like to sing and to play the guitar and then they asked me to play anything and I did and… The upshot was that they wanted me to sing 'Remembering Sunday' with Alex and… yeah, we spent some time with them and now I'm kinda becoming friends with Jack and the other guys and Riley's going to do something together with Rian and Zack today." I narrated.  
>"Wow. You're a lucky devil, you know." she said.<br>"I am a devil but I dunno whether I'm lucky or not." I answered.  
>"Why?"<br>"Because Jack seemes to like me. A lot. And I don't know what to do." I replied spongily. Her face turned pale and she pursed her lips. Hannah seemed to be thinking about something.  
>"Do you like him, too?" she asked. And because I didn't know what else to do I just nodded seriously.<br>"Oh, well… I… I think we should talk 'bout something." Oh no… She didn't want to tell me about the birds and the bees! I mean… just because I told her that somebody likes me… ?  
>"I don't know if you're still… a virgin but…"<br>I could feel my how my cheeks blushed and actually my entire face turned red.  
>"Er… Hannah, I am… and I don't intend to… change that…" I stammered.<br>"Oh… okay."  
>"So… What… What 'bout your trip?" I tried to change the topic and hopefully she'd go into it.<br>"It… It was amazing." She began and it took so long 'till the story was told so we could pretend that the sex dialog was forgotten.

It was about 7pm when my phone vibrated. I'd turned off the volume because Hannah wanted to go to bed earlier than usually. She was a bit tired because of the long way home and I didn't want her to wake up because I knew she'd be pretty upset. I opened the message and read it. When I read the sender a smile lit up my face. Guess who? Right. Jack.

He asked me whether I'd like to do something with him that day.

Thinking about what Hannah would do if she'd figure out that I wasn't there and didn't ask her. Probably I should talk to her but if I did I'd have to wake her up. On the other hand I wanted to meet him again. He was the funniest person in the entire world and actually I missed him a little bit so, I decided to walk into her room and to interrupt her nap.

"Hannah?" I whispered. She didn't move. I repeated her name louder.

"What?" she asked with a low voice but it still sounded drastic.

"Er... I just... wanted to know whether you mind if I go out with Jack...?"

My sister's head turned around and it looked like that girl from the exorcist. By the way, her face wasn't that scarred at all.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yeah..." I muttered and tried to hide my nervousness. Hannah seemed to think about it for a while, then she grinned and nodded.

"You can go if you promise to come home as a virgin."

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck you..." I murmured smiling and went back to my room.

While I was answering I thought about telling Riley. But everything she could've said would've been something like "I'm sure you guys are gonna marry some day.". That was the only thing she texted me in myspace.

I was pretty sure that I'd never marry him because he didn't seem to be a good father and I still didn't like boys. Or men.

About a second after answering I got a new message.

'Awesome! Gonna take you at 8:30, bye'


	21. Chapter 20

8pm:

I was standing in front of my wardrobe but there wasn't anything inside anymore. Clothes were strewn everywhere and it was hard to see my floor. Or even my bed. I don't think you'd know it's a bed. It just looked like huge accumulation of shirts, tops, jeans, bras, socks and underwear in general. I know, there were only 30 minutes left and probably I should be ready to get into my clothes but I didn't know what to wear. And that was something I was worried about. Not only the fact that there was nothing to wear but the fact that I was thinking 'bout my clothes. He was like a 'homie', like a bro even. He was just.. Jack and I shouldn't care. I was supposed to think about what he wanted to do not thinking about what to wear. But I was thinking and worrying 'bout that and now I had to deal with it. I decided that I should choose two or three outfits and pick the best one. After searching a minute I took a dark blue skinny jeans, a black and white band shirt and my black converse, black shorts plus a black tank top with the inscription "I love unicorns" plus my black vans slippers and the last one was a purple dress which was kinda short and it's neckline was... yeah. You could definitely see my boobs... I took the shorts plus the tank top and the vans. It was kinda hot outside even though it was already... 'evenfall'. Before I went downstairs I looked into the mirror and honestly, I was looking great. My hair was perfectly straightened (thanks flat iron... I love you) and my make up was discreet but it made my eyes look bigger. It couldn't take that long anymore 'til Jack would come to pick me up so I decided to sit down on the second to last stair and to wait for him.

The doorbell rang and I stood up immidiately to open the door.

"Hey" I said and gave him a smile.

"Hi" he replied and eyeballed me. "Nice shirt."

I hit his shoulder ineffectually and knit my eyebrows. "Oh... Come on..." I murmured and I think I blushed. Jack chuckled. "Let's go." he answered and led me into his car.

"What are we gonna do tonight?" I asked. Actually, I wanted to know if Alex and the guys were coming with us but it didn't seem appropriate.

"I'm gonna take you to my basement and then I'm gonna rape you 'til the morning comes." he returned.

"Okay." I agreed and looked at all the houses passing by while we were driving.

"Er... I wanted to take you to the cinema and we're gonna watch a movie."

"Yeah, that's what you usually do at the cinema" I said and grinned. "Which movie?" I wanted to know.

"You're choice. Either we can watch Hangover or Final Destination." he proposed.

"Jack, you know I don't like those movies... and I've already seen Hangover. Aren't there any other movies?"

"You gotta face up your fear. Did you ever watch a horror movie?" he asked.

"I actually didn't watch them. I... I don't do because I read the book 'The Ring' when I was about 8 years old and one time, the phone rang and it was someone saying "seven days" so, I thought that the book was becoming reality. Now I know it was a prank call but I'm afraid of those movies because I think they're real when I'm watching them. I know it's weird and childish but I can't change the way it is." I explained and I felt like getting smaller while sitting in the seat, like I was still 8.

"Oh, wait. There is actually one more movie and I think it would be a great compromise. It's called 'Dead Snow' and it's a horror comedy. I don't think it's gonna scare the shit outa you." he suggested.

"I dunno... Don't you got any movies at your home we could watch?" I wanted to know.

"Nah, I don't think so. Most of them are not... good for you and the other ones are disney movies." he answered.

"But if you wanna make me watch a horror movie I don't wanna freak out when there are actually people around me so... Tell me some names and I gonna tell you which one we're gonna watch." I answered.

"Er... High Tension, Dawn of Dead, 28 Days later, House Of Wax, Final Destination 1 – 3, Pandorum, Saw Trilogy and The Hills Have Eyes 1 and 2." he replied. I raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you got House of Wax because of Paris Hilton."

Jack grinned and nodded. "That's the only reason."

I thought over the titles.

"I... I think I pick one of The Hills Have Eyes."

"The first one was better and it is based on a good and believable story." he explained and I just nodded.

The adrenalin was rushing through my blood with every inch we got closer to his house.

"Don't get frightened because it's not... tidy at all. I did never ever show anybody my house. I mean Alex, Rian and Zack saw it but I'm talking about..."

"female creatures?" I giggled.

"Right." he replied a bit pissed.

"What?"

"Do I really look like such a jerk that you think I don't take girls home?" he asked.

"No but I understand it. I mean, who'd have sex with you in a mess." I said.

"What the fuck are you thinking about me?" Jack didn't seem to be happy.

"You don't look like a romantic, loving guy who wants to settle down and to marry the love of his life."

"And what do I look like?"

"You look like a guy who knows how to have a great fucking time and I guess that's better than such a boring, ordinary douche bag." I answered and kept staring outside the window.

...

"Oh my fucking Christ..." I murmured when we got into his house. He was right, it wasn't tidy at all.

"I told you." he said. "So, you wanna see everything or is it cool if we just walk straight into the living room?" Jack asked.

"I dunno if I want to... do I?"

"Oh, I think you don't but I also think you're a courious person so, I'll show you." he replied.

The kitchen was... not okay. I think it'd take more than 4 hours to clean it up. The living room was looking like an ordinary one. A few things here and there which you could've put in any cupboard but who cares? His bedroom was resembling mine. Clothes and shoes everywhere all over the floor. But, honestly, the bathroom was the tidiest room I've ever seen in my entire life. Every single hair care product was in file. They seemed to be ordered by size.

"Okay... that's scary. I wanna leave..." I murmured, grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the living room.

"You wanna start?" Jack asked.

"Yeah... I don't think so but... we have to." I muttered, still hoping he'd spare me. He didn't. While he was searching the DVD, he asked whether I wanted something.

"I go for something to drink." I answered.

"Sure... What do you want?"

"Oh, I'll go to get something if you don't mind."

"No, no. It's okay."

Jack was pretty lost in what he was doing so, I didn't ask him and decided to just bring a beer for him and because I wanted to survive the whole thing I mixed Wodka and Coke at no appropriate rate. I took a sip and ignored the burning running through my throat. But I didn't want to get drunk so I dumped the mixture and got I beer for me, too.

When I went back, everything was ready. My heart sank into my boots as I saw the pictures on the screen.

He tapped on the seating next to him.

"Have a seat, please."

Jack smiled and I really tried to reply it but I don't think it worked. Anyway, he was right. I had to face my fear. It wasn't normal at all that I couldn't watch horror movies just because I used to think they're real. I had to grow up.

It's just a movie..., I told myself and sat down next to Jack.

At the beginning there were clips about atomic bombs and their outcome. The pictures were... terrifying so, I covered my eyes with my hands so, I could only feel how Jack put an arm around me. I catched a glimpse watching through my fingers and after a few minutes I got straight that I wouldn't be happy 'bout watching this.


	22. Chapter 21

Actually, it wasn't as hard as I thought. I even had to abort laughing. Maybe atomic Mutants are quite funny if you know they're not real. Blood's funny, too. Exept if you lost two or three fingers. I don't think that's funny...

"So, what do you think about'em now?" Jack asked.

"I think I'll go on watching them. And, thanks. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have watched it with you." I answered overhangingly.

"And I'm very thankful you had a full confidence in me and faced your fear with me." he answered. "So, what do you wanna do now?"

"I dunno... It's already 'bout 1am and my sister's gonna freak out if I'm not at home soon." I replied and yawned.

"Okay. I'll bring you home if you want to." he proposed.

"Sure. It's dark outside and I don't wanna be raped even though you promised to do me and because you didn't I'm dissapointed now. Nobody's gonna get the possibility to rape me. Never." I told.

"No one but me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nah, not even you." I said after thinking about it a few seconds. Jack chuckled and stood up.

"Let's go. I don't want you to be in trouble."

...

We were standing on the porch, right next to the front door. It was all dark but the moon shone enough light to us, or a bit less melodramatically said, we could see eachother.

"Thanks." I murmured and leand against the wooden door. Jack smiled at me and lifted his hand to brush a whisp of hair outa my face. Then, he just looked into eyes and I thought I'd saw something lightenin' his gaze. Slowly, almost carefully, he knuckeled down a bit, his nose touched (or streaked) mine before crashing his lips with mine. At first, the kiss was very onesided because I didn't reply it. But for some reason I don't understand I put my hands onto his nape and pulled him back so I could kiss him again. This time, it was a bit more impassionate and dedicative. After a few seconds I realized that there was something wrong. We weren't supposed to do this, no, no... That was definitely wrong!

I placed my hand onto his cheast and pushed him gently away from me.

"Please... stop it..." I muttered. Jack actually stopped kissing my mouth but his lips didn't leave my body. They carressed my cheek and stopped by a friction of an inch off my ear.

"Why?" he whispered. I could hear he was smiling and it sent chills down my spine. It knocked me for a loop so, I wasn't able to answer. Without saying anything else he chuckled and started to peck my neck. There was no motivation even to try again to stop him. Maybe because I wanted him to do that, maybe I stopped thinking right at the moment when his breath streaked my skin.

"No..." I aspirated and shook my head. My eyes widened in shock and I jumped back a few inches.

"No, no, no! I can't..." My gaze lowered and I could feel I began to blush.

"But... There's nothing wrong with you." I murmured. "It's just that..." Honestly, I didn't know how to tell him. Especially, 'cause he went on standing there and looking at me with that smile plastered into his face. His eyes were definitely looking way too nicely.

"Mh?"

"It's just... Jack, that's all new to me. I did never like a boy or a guy that way before... I'm a lesbian! Or I used to be one... I'm so sorry but it's just... I'm so confused about that whole situation and I dunno how to deal with it." I spluttered.

"Wait... you're trying to tell me you never had a boyfriend before, right?" I lowered my gaze again and tried to hide my nervousness. Thankfully, it was quite dark so at least, he wouldn't see my reddened cheeks.

"That's totally cool... If you need some time to think 'bout everything, I'll give you a few days." Actually, I was talking about a week...

"Thanks..." I whispered. Jack took a step forward and kissed my forehead gingerly.

"Good night." Then, he turned around and walked away.

I don't know how long I was standing there and thinking about what happened. But then I went inside. Hannah was probably waiting for me and it wasn't a good idea to let her wait. I went upstairs immediately, got my pyjama on and went to bed; I even tried to close my eyes and to sleep but... I couldn't. Everything was very exciting to me and... I needed to talk about it. But then I yawned again. Tomorrow, I'll talk to Riley, I thought and looked outside the window. There were a few street lights and only 50 % were turned on. I could neither see the moon nor the stars. Somehow, I hadn't imagine that my first kiss would end up like that.

...

Sorry, I'm so very sorry! My computer just fucked up and I had to write the chap again. But... special thanks to Can'tBeSaved again :D

Thanks for all the revs :) You're great :D


	23. Chapter 22

When I woke up the next morning I rubbed the sleep outa my eyes and yawned. I didn't know what time it was but it had to be way too early. My alarm clock rang and told me that it was about 11am. Actually I hadn't thought of sleeping that long because I needed to think over the reason for my confusion.

Point A: Jack had kissed me.

Point B: I liked it.

Point C: I didn't know how to deal with my feelings.

Point D: I could remember how his lips felt when crashing with mine...

Point E: It still made me shiver when I thought about.

Point F: There were too many points.

I knew that I couldn't make my decision on my own and the more I thought about it the more depressed I became so, I grabbed my phone and wanted to call Riley. But when I switched through all the numbers I stopped when I read Jack's name. With a smile on my face I went on searching for my best friend and dialled her number.

"Hello?" she asked. Her voice sounded sleepy.

"Hey, Ri..." I answered.

"Oh, what the hell happened? If you're calling me Ri there has to be something very, very bad." Why does she know me that well? Okay, she was like a sister to me and honestly, we knew eachother a bit too well but... Really?

"I need you to help me." I told her.

"Shall I come over?" she wanted to know.

"Yeah... I think so." I replied.

"Okay... Just wait a minute. I gotta search for some pants and a bra and then I'll come."

We hung up and because I knew it could take more than 20 minutes 'til she was here, I went to the kitchen and searched for some cereals.

...

When I had finished my breakfast the doorbell rang and I was almost sure about who it was.

"Come in!" I yelled and waited. Just a few seconds later Riley sat down next to me.

"Hey" I murmured.

"Hi... So, what do you need me to do?" she asked.

"Er... Sorry, I dunno how to begin... It's... Yesterday, Jack and I went to his house and we watched a movie and... it was fun but, you know, when he dropped me here and I thought we were about to say good bye or doog night, what ever, and..." My cheeks blushed and Riley's eyes widened.

"Oh, wait... you're not gonna tell me that you guys... made out?"

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

"Cute" she smirked. My jaw dropped.

"What? No, I think I gotta tell you everything." And so I did.

"So... You're not together yet?"

"No and honestly... I don't know if I want to. I mean... I'm not the prototype of a girl he usually seems to like. 'cause... you know..." I stammered.

"What?" Riley asked.

"I'm a fucking virgin! And actually, I don't wanna change that soon." I answered.

"Oh, come on! I think you like him. You're not supposed to think about him like that." she said dunningly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't judge him. Just... you know, tell him everything and then you'll know. I mean, you're going to ruin everything if you won't but I'm sure you will 'cause all the time you're talking about him you're grinning like a jerk. And, by the way, I know you guys are somehow meant to be together. Even if that sounds trite. Don't act that pathetic and talk to him. But... not today. Wait 'till tomorrow afternoon."

I think that was the graveliest thing she's ever said.


	24. Chapter 23

When you'd asked me a few months ago how I imagined my live to go on, I don't think I'd told what happened these days. I don't even think I'd told you anything about a boyfriend. Or boys in general. But now there was a guy who seemed to like me. And guess what? So did I. He made me feel special without saying anything like that and he showed me how down-to-earth he was. I mean, Jack was just as normal as he could be. Okay, sometimes he was a bit... exceeding but on the other hand he was kinda cute and goofy and... Aw, I needed new thoughts if I wanted to survive the hours I couldn't give him a call. Otherwise I'd end up staring at my phone and wishing Riley wasn't here so, I'd be able to do what I wanted. But she was here and she'd stay the night to make sure I'd not jump the gun on anything.

"What do you wanna do?" I asked uninterested.

"I just wanna hang out. And, I gotta new CD!" she exclaimed and threw the jewel case at me. It hit my head because I couldn't draw aside.

"Outch!" I hissed and began to rub my forehead. "Watch out a bit, dickhead..." I muttered.

"You're such a nice person." she smirked and sat down next to me.

"Please stop thinking of him. You can call him tomorrow morning if you want to but..."

"Yeah, I know. Let's just do anything." I moaned.

"Oh, hun... I'm sure you'd be glad if I'd let you do what you want but you're gonna be... 'sunshinier' if you wait. Trust me, I know what to do. Even though you don't believe me, it's true."

I sighed and gave in. There was no way to avoid it and maybe I should just let her distract me.

...

Jack's POV:

"Oh, man..." I murmured and leand back.

"Fuck, Jack... what's wrong with you? I didn't hear you telling any dick jokes for about two hours." Zack said and grinned.

"Ha ha..." I replied. "It's nothing. I'm okay."

"I don't believe that. I mean... actually you're quite good at playing guitar even though we don't like to admit that but... today, I gotta tell you, you're even worse than usually."

"Come on, dude... I'm just a bit tired out..." I answered and rubbed my eyes.

"Oh, I don't think that's why you're like that." Rian muttered. "It must have bearing on Mary." Instead of answering I just folded my arms and poked my tongue out.

"What did you do? Did you drive her nuts?" Alex asked. I shook my head.

"No... Nothing like that. Actually, I should be... 'good-humored' but... I dunno how to put it and if I can tell you 'cause she told me some kinda secret and I don't think I should."

"Jack, we're your best friends... You can tell us everything. We won't ever let her know and... she's probably going to tell Riley so... It's okay." Alex replied.

I exhaled and closed my eyes while shaking my head.

"Okay... But, please... Just don't say anything." I answered and breathed deeply before I explained everything that happened last night. And even though I expected from them to be a bit confused or at least to ask anything... They didn't. Zack, Rian and Alex were sitting in front or next to me and just listened to every word I said. When I finished the story, Alex shook his head and grinned, Rian seemed to be thinking about something and Zack appeared to do the same.

"So..." I murmured.

"She needs some time and you should await her decission." Rian answered and Zack nodded.

"I can't believe she's a lesbo!" Alex chuckled. I threw a pillow at him.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled.

"Oh, wait, she isn't anymore!" he went on roaring with laughter.

"Stop it, Alex. I'm still thinking you're fucking gay so, that's not funny." I said and smiled.

"Okay, that's not the old Jack but you're on a good way to get back." Rian replied.

Yeah, they were right. I should wait. Even though I wanted to head for her. If I wanted her to trust me I had to wait 'til she has gotten over everything. How long could that take? I mean, she knew about my... my 'feelings' and she liked me. Why should it go wrong?

...

next day:

Mary's POV:

"Bye!" I exclaimed. Riley was standing in front of the door and was already about to leave. She chuckled and waved to me.

"It's okay, you can do what you want but... I don't think that he's awake yet. It's 10am." she said and left. And then I was alone. My phone and I alone at home. I began to ask myself if I should wait or if I should call him immediately. Actually, I wanted to but... she was right. I didn't think either he's got up at all. I was supposed to wait a little while. What you wanna do when you're fingers become independent, though? I couldn't do anything to stop them. They just flew over the touch screen and searched for his phone number. I still couldn't believe what I was doing when I already dialled the number and was waiting for him to answer the phone.

"Mh?"

He sounded sleepily and honestly I couldn't stop grinning. Riley was right and I was sure I was looking like the jerkiest jerk on the entire planet.

"Hey, Jack. It's me, Mary..." I murmured, trying to hide my nervousness.

"Oh, hey!" he replied and yawned silently.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked sheepishly.

"Yeah..." he answered.

"Sorry... but... I need to talk to you." I said smilingly. "Can I come over to your house? I don't think we should talk about that here..."

"Sure... When do you wanna come?" he asked.

"Er... I dunno..." Actually, something in my head screamed 'Now! Now! Now!'.

"You can come whenever you want to." Jack replied.

Okay, that was definitely the moment to say 'now'.

"If you tell me your address...?"

"Sure..."

He yawned again before explaining everything.

"I'll be there in... about twenty minutes. If that's okay." I answered.

Then, I heard something rumble and Jack hissing 'Fuck!'.

"Did you fell outa your bed?" I asked quizzically.

"Yeah... I think so." Jack muttered. I giggled before answering. "See you later!"

Thankfully, I already wore some clothes so I could drive off in a few minutes.

...

I took my time so, he could do the same. I knocked at the door and waited. He opened about two seconds later. His hair was tousled and wet.

"Hey" I said.

"Hi! Come in." Jack gave me smile and let me go inside. I went to the living room where I sat down on the couch.

"So... you made your decision?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah..."

I lowered my gaze because I didn't know where to begin.

"You know I like you and... I'd like to be together with you but I dunno if I'm the type of girl you like." I murmured and I could feel my cheeks blush.

Jack chuckled.

"Mary, you're exactly my type of girl."

He put an arm around me and I placed my head onto his shoulder.

"Don't complicate anything..." he said and kissed my temple. It sent chills down my spine and couldn't help but put a palm onto his cheek and lead his head a few inches down so, he could kiss my lips. I don't think it mattered whether I wanted to kiss him, even though I did, I needed to. Just because it made me feel safe and secure.


	25. Chapter 24

"Like I said!" Riley exclaimed when I told her what happened the day before. "You guys gotta marry and to create babies! Tiny, tiny Jacks and tiny, tiny Maries!"

"Yeah, and our tiny, tiny Riley got a tiny, tiny brain!" I answered.

"Oh, please! You've gotta promise me to marry him! Your life could be a fairytale!" she went on.

"Stop dreaming, please. Life's no fairytale and I'm not gonna start believing in that. Especially because Jack's no prince and hopefully he'll never be. I don't like men who wear tights. Except garter belts, they're sexy." I smirked. My best friend hit my shoulder.

"Stop fucking destroying my childish wishes! By the way... I think we gotta go."

"Maybe." I answered and stood up. Jack was probably already waiting outside and... What a surprise, he really was!

"Hey!" I smiled and hugged him before kissing his lips gently; he chuckled. "Hi" he answered. Riley was already sitting in the car so, I decided to deepen the kiss. We forgot about time and my best friend had to stop us. She beat the window and yelled "Get a room!".

...

Everybody was there already when we arrived at Zack's. They were sitting on the grass and talking about football. Alex was lying on a blanket and he seemed to be asleep but as he saw me and Riley he stood up immediately and hugged us tightly.

"Yay!" he screamed. "Oh, how much I missed you! Both of you." he went on and tousled my hair and Riley's, too.

"Whoa... stop it, Alex!" I giggled. "I mean, you can do that to Riley 'cause I'm sure she likes it but... Jack's the only one who's allowed to touch my holy hair."

"What privilege..." Jack murmured while Riley was trying to kill me with her gaze. I put an arm around her and whispered so, nobody else could hear it "Calm down, honey. You're neither here to rape Alex nor to make him falling for you. Just... have fun."

She just shook her head and headed for Zack and Rian. Jack and I sat a bit aside from the actual action. I leaned against him and looked at our folded hands. After a few minutes I realized that he was playing with a wisp of my hair.

"Er... May I ask you... what are you doing?" I wondered.

"Oh, I thought I was the only one who's allowed to touch your hair and... I wanted to." he answered.

"Oh... Okay." I replied

"And... I gotta tell you something..." he went on.

"Mh?"

I was actually looking at Riley. She was sitting next to Rian and Zack and they both were trying to tickle her. Zack was more succesful. But she was dithering that much so, Alex stumbled across her and his own feet and... fell onto the grass.

"Outch..." he muttered rubbing his knee.

"Sorry!" Riley exclaimed and crawled towards him.

"Ah... I think it's okay but... please, watch your feet the next time." he smiled.

"Wait... I'll help you." she murmured. But what she did wasn't really to help... It was more like... amplifying his pain.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! Wait... I'm gonna get you some ice..." Riley said excitedly.

"No, no... It's okay... just... don't move." Alex begged. He was lying on top of her and I don't think it'd have been a good idea to stand up. I chuckled and turned my head a bit so, I could see Jack.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I wanted to know.

"Er... I told you we're gotta go on tour next week and it's gonna take five weeks 'til we'll be here again."

"Oh..." I aspirated. He didn't answer and I didn't know what to say. Actually, I knew that they weren't going to be here for ever but I think I just forgot about time.

"I... I don't... want you to go..."

I knew I was speaking under my breath but I couldn't do anything but tell him the truth even though it wouldn't make it easier for him.

"I don't wanna leave you back here." he smiled. Why the hell was he smiling? "And that's the reason why I wanna ask you if you'd like to come with us."

What the fuck... was the only thing running through my mind. A houndred times. What the fuck, what the fuck... Tons of 'What the fuck's.

"Jack, that's... I... I don't know what to... what to say..." I stammered.

"Just say yes." he answered still smiling.

"I... I dunno... My mum's probably gonna say no and... I can't leave Riley here... She'd be alone and... What shall I do when you're at the show? I can't hang around there all the time. I'd annoye everybody." I said.

"Mary, it's okay if you don't want to. I just... didn't want to leave you."

"No... no, I'd like to come with you. But... I can't. My mum's gonna say no." I replied.

"Oh, we'll see." he muttered.

"What are you talking about?" I asked smiling.

"She's gonna come home tomorrow, right?" he wanted to know.

"Yes..." I murmured.

"Then we'll know it on... Sunday I think."

"What are you gonna tell her?" I wanted to know.

"I'll tell her who I am or rather who we are and why I wanna take you with me. And then I'll fall to my knees and I'm gonna start crying."

I giggled even though I didn't know if he was serious about that or not. Honestly, I didn't care. He could try to change her mind if he wanted to.

...

It was about 5pm when it startet to rain. Actually, I wanted to go inside but Jack didn't let me go. He just held me tight and didn't allow me to stand up.

"Jack... I don't wanna get sick. Let's go!" I proposed.

"No... I just wanna lie here..." he whispered and hid his face in my hair. I could feel his breath streaking my skin and wasn't able to talk anymore. But then my hair started to curl and I didn't want it to look like curly straw so, I tried to get rid of his arms. Jack's stronger than he looks like, that's what I know for sure.

"Jack... I'm getting wet!" I moaned.

"That's what usually happenes when girls are in my arms." he answered.

"Shut up..." I murmured buggedly.

"Oh, come on... You're the only one I want." he said and kissed my neck.

"It doesn't change that we're gonna be sick if you don't let me go..."

"No, we won't..." he told silently and went on pecking my throat.

"We will..." ...but I don't care...


	26. Chapter 25

The next day I woke up because my phone was ringing. I tried to grab it but it was too far away and I didn't get it but fell out of my bed. Now I knew what Jack was trying to tell me when he said "I think so...". The sound didn't stop so, I had to answer even though I didn't wanted to.

"Hello?" I asked and yawned.

"Mary?" he asked.

"Yeah? Who... who are you?" I wanted to know 'cause I didn't know that voice.

"It's me, Jack."

"Oh my fucking god! What happened to your voice?"

"Yeah, it's nice to hear you again, too... I'm... I'm sick!" he moaned.

"Oh, poor Jack-Jack! Shall I come over to your house? I think you could need someone who looks after you."

"No... You can't, I don't want to infect you..."

Jack sneezed and blowed his nose.

"You won't infect me as long as we don't touch each other too much or as long as we don't make out."

He mumbled something very dissapointed before he started again to pretend he didn't need any help.

"Jack, stop struggling. I'll be there in a few minutes... Maybe I'll bring some medicine. So... I know you catched a cold. Is there anything else?" I asked.

"Yeah, wait..." he snuffled and coughed.

"Oh, I can hear it... Just stay in bed. Bye"

I didn't give him time to answer back. Otherwise he'd said something like 'You don't need to come. I'm okay' and he definitely wasn't. I mean, it would've been okay if I were sick but he gotta go on tour next week so, he needed to be well.

"Hannah? Mom's gonna be here at 7pm, right?" I asked my sister. She was sitting on the couch and watching any tv show.

"Right... Why?"

"I'm gonna go to Jack... he needs some help." I answered.

"What kind of help?" Hannah turned around, looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"No sexual kind of help, hun... He's just a bit sick." I replied.

"Oh, okay, then. Bye." Thankfully, she didn't cause a scene and let me go.

First, I went to the supermarket to get the fixings for a chicken broth and some kind of cough syrup (with alcohol, for sure). That would help him to sleep. Furthermore, I got some nasal spray and candies. He was a child inside and children love sweet things. After paying all the things I got back to the car and drove off. Actually, I don't like it to take the car but sometimes the situation demanded it from me.

When I arrived at his house I pulled in the car and just entered. The door was neither closed nor was there something special standing behind it.

"Jack?" I yelled.

"Bedroom!" Jack answered and I giggled. Still smiling, I made my way to the said bedroom and put the bags down next to the bed.

"Hey" I murmured.

"Hi... You could've stayed at home. I'm fine..."

He coughed a few times.

"I see." I said sarcastically and knit my eyebrows. I stooped down the bags and took the medicine out of them.

"Here we go..." I muttered while I read the package instructions. Then I told him how to use them.

"Thanks..." he smiled.

"I'll go downstairs and prepare something to eat." I told him and turned around.

"Thanks." Jack repeated and looked sceptically at the cough syrup.

Normally, it doesn't take that long to prepare a soup. But if you gotta do that in a foreign kitchen and with foreign implements... It's kinda hard.

...

"Dinner is served!" I exclaimed and put the bowle on the living room table. By the way, there were many other things, too. Chocolates, crisps, licorice, jelly beans and tons of other unhealthy things. Not even a minute later Jack headed for the couch and fell onto it. He seemed to be cold... (Am I the only one who's thinking of Jack Frost?). I put a blanket around him and sat down next to him.

"If you want to be able to breath through your nose you should take a steam bath later." I mentioned.

"No... please! I don't like them..." he moaned.

"Why? I mean, you just gotta do it twice and then you're nose'll be okay again. Otherwise it'll be reddened like that for about a week and I don't think my mom's gonna let me go if you're looking like Rudolph."

Jack poked out his tongue, then pouted.

"Eat the soup and drink your tea and you'll be okay again soon." I said smiling.

"Really?" he asked and I just nodded. Without batting an eye he downed the entire bowl and took a sip of the tea.

"Er... I didn't want you to do it like that but... okay..." I mumbled. "What do you wanna do?" Suddenly, his eyes began to sparkle but he didn't say anything.

"What?" I asked grinning. Jack didn't answer, though and just shook his head.

"Oh, come on... Tell me." I begged.

"No... I don't think you wanna do that right now..."

He lowered his gaze and looked at his hands. Why does he always has to resemble a small child? Weird...

"I'll do what ever you want." I answered, then realized what I just said. "Except any sexual things. I promised to come home as a virgin..."

"No, it's nothing sexual... I just wondered whether you'd watch my favorite movie with me." he replied.

"What is it?" I wanted to know. What ever it was, it couldn't be as embarrassing as...

"Home Alone" he answered sheepishly. My jaw dropped. Why did I even wonder? I mean... I knew he was a big child but... I'd rather thought of something bloodier.

"Sure. I love that one." I told him.

"It's the best movie ever created!" he exclaimed and his voice cracked twice. I just chuckled.

"If you tell me where I can find it..."

He told me and about a minute later I was holding the dvd in my hands.

"Yay!" I yelled. "Okay, let's watch a christmas movie in middle of june..."

"Best thing to do." he added and opened the jelly beans.

"Oh, wait, I've got an idea..." I mumbled and went to the kitchen where I made some hot chocolate for Jack and me. With Marshmallows, of course.

"You're the nicest person on this fucking planet." Jack said as I gave him the cup.

"Thanks..." I muttered, sat down next to him and started the movie.

I don't think that I'm ever gonna see something like that again: A grown man whose eyes are sparkling because he's watching his favorite movie, Home Alone. And, to be honest... I don't think I'm ever gonna see something cuter...


	27. Chapter 26

It was Saturday afternoon when I tried to tell my mom about Jack. That wouldn't be easy because... She neither knew that I was a lesbian once nor had I ever introduced her to a boyfriend. Because there was no boyfriend. I don't think that my nervousness could've been bigger and I could feel the adrenalin running through my blood. My heart beat got faster with every second and I'm almost sure my face was as red as a tomato.

"Mom? I gotta tell you something?" My unsureness turned the sentence into a question.

"Mh?" She didn't look at me but it was still hard to say the words and I was as frozen as a deer in the headlights.

"You remember the concert thing?" I asked. Maybe that wasn't the best way to begin but... it was the only way which didn't contain the words 'guy', 'boyfriend' or any other word like that.

"Yeah, I do... but you don't need to tell me your sorry. It's okay. I don't care anymore. Hannah and even Ms. Flinch told me you were the nicest person in the entire world so..." she answered.

"That's... That's cool but it's not what I wanna tell you..." I went on. "There's something I gotta tell you."

Thankfully, she turned off the tv. You see the sarcasm, don't you?

"Okay." my mom said and waited for me to begin.

"There... There's someone I met that evening and... we're kinda together."

Instead of going off she started to grin.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Er... Jack...?" I replied.

"Nice name! So, you wanted to tell me that you finally got a boyfriend?" she wanted to know.

"Yeah... and I wanted to know if... you'd like to meet him?"

"Sure!" she answered.

"But, don't freak out 'cause he's a bit older than I am..." I said carefully. Maybe she wouldn't ask...

"How old is he?"

Oh, you gotta know if there's anything my mom's not supposed to ask she's probably gonna do it so, why am I surprised, though?

"20" I said sheepishly. Her reaction was the same way I expected: her jaw dropped and her eyes widened a bit.

"What? 20? Mary, you just turned 17!"

"Mom, actually I'm gonna be 18 in December...?" I replied but tried to stay calm. It wasn't easy at all.

"And when does he turn 21?" she asked.

"Next week..." I admittet a bit pissed. And the worst thing: I couldn't tell her that he was a child inside. It wouldn't have been an argument. Her point of view was that you had to be grown when you're older than 19. And Jack wasn't grown. He definitely wasn't.

"Mary, he's older than your sister!"

"Oh, come on, mom! You don't even know him. Please, don't judge him just because he's older than me... You gotta get to know him first... please..." I begged .She thought about it for a while.

"Okay but don't expect that I'll like him. He's able to make you pregnant before you graduated high school so..."

I could feel my cheeks blush.

"Mom! Please... Don't be like that tomorrow!"

"I can't promise." she shrugged.

"And even if he was 17 or 16...he could make me pregnant, though." I said before I went upstairs to tell Jack that he had to come the next day.

...

(next day :D)

My mom and I were sitting on the couch and waiting for Jack. I was tapping with my fingers on the table while my mom was the personated quietness. The door bell rang and I even stopped breathing but then I stood up to open the door. And when I saw Jack's face and that goofy smile all my excitement was gone.

"Hey!" I breathed and gave him a smile.

"Hey..." he replied and bended forward so, he could kiss me. Still smiling, I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the living room to sit down next to my mom.

"Mom – Jack, Jack... that's my mom." I almost mumbled.

"Nice to meet you, Jack." she said and shook hands with him.

"Yeah, it's a pleasure to me, too." he replied and I was surprised about the fact that he even knew the word 'pleasure'. They began to talk and actually, I wasn't that involved in their conversation.

"So, Jack... I don't think you're still a virgin 'cause you're not looking like someone who waits 'til the day he marries but... I wanna to talk with you guys about that."

My jaw dropped and I'm so very sure my face resembled an apple or a cherry...

"Mom?" I whispered. She didn't even notice that I just said something or she just ignored it. Maybe I should've slapped her face or something because that'd have made her stop but... I couldn't. First reason: She was my mother and I still love her after all. Second reason: She'd never ever let me go on tour with them if I hurt her so...

I sneeked at Jack but he wasn't doing anything but grinning. Obviously, I wasn't thinking that was funny at all. Jack was really, really weird. And cute. Did I mention cute?

"So, did you ever deflower someone?" she asked.

"No, never..." he replied.

"But you know you gotta be quite... careful, right?"

"Yeah, I know." he answered.

I was just sitting there and staring at them both 'cause I couldn't understand why my mom was asking those things for real and why Jack was that calm... They went on talking for a little while and I tried hardly not to listen but then Jack came along with the topic I was most interested in.

"I don't think Mary told you why I'm actually here." he mumbled.

"No... why?" my mom wanted to know.

"Because... Do you know All Time Low?" he asked.

"Of course... That's her favorite band." she replied.

"Yeah... I'm playing guitar in that band and... did she tell you that she sang that evening? At the concert? We'd like to take her with us 'cause her voice is awesome and... she could gain lots of experiences... But she knew she couldn't decide that on her own so, we needed to ask you. Would you let her come with us?"

There was a huge moment of silence when my mom's jaw dropped just as mine and she began to stare at me for a few seconds. Then, she closed her eyes slowly and shook her head.

"I... I don't know... who's "we"?" my mom wanted to know.

"Wait..." Jack murmured, stood up and went up to our front door to open it. And when he came back there were Zack, Rian and Alex.

"Rian, Zack, Alex plus me... We're All Time Low!" he exclaimed and smiled broadly.

My mom seemed to be a bit... overstrained.

"Er... And... why do you wanna take her with you?" she asked.

"Cause her voice is great and she could learn how to act in front of humans. Many humans. I mean crowds." Alex said.

"I don't know if I want you to take her with you. I mean... Maybe she wants to become something like a rockstar when she comes home. And I definitely want her to go to college. She gotta find a real profession." she replied.

"Mom... I don't want to become a rockstar..." I murmured.

"Are you sure? I mean what if you change you're mind during that trip?"

"I won't and I promise I'm gonna go to college. I'm not good enough to be a singer in a band or something like that." I lowered my gaze as if I was sad 'bout that 'cause I knew that would affect her. Thankfully, Jerry wasn't there. Sometimes he tried to be cool but most of time he took sites with my mom.

There was a sigh, something like a "Oh, Mary Rae..." and then...

"Okay. I'll let you go. Even though I don't think that's a good idea but... you gotta find your own limits so, you can go if you want to. And, Jack? I don't like you."

My mom stood up and went upstairs.

"The coast is clear." I murmured and suddenly everybody started to freak out. Even Zack seemed to be happy 'bout her decision. Jack hugged me and I didn't realize that we were all hugging one another until Rian put his arms around me and yelled "Yay!". You could say that we began jumping around for a little while. Somewhen, I heard my mom harrumph. She stared at us and I'm sure she thought we were crazy but... she already told me I could go so, I only had the assignement not to kill her.


	28. Chapter 27

"Riley! Help me! Please!" I exclaimed. All my things were packed actually but I couldn't carry that bag alone.

"What?" she asked and raised an eyebrow.

"It's too heavy!"

My best friend giggled and headed for me. Finally, we could bring it downstairs together.

"I can't believe you're leaving me here..." Riley murmured and pouted.

"Oh, come on, hun. I'd like to take you with me but..." "...Nobody asked me, I know. It's just... I'm gonna miss you. And besides... That's the last time I see you as a virgin." she answered. I shook my head.

"That's the truth and you know it!" Riley screamed. Instead of saying anything I just rolled my eyes and sat down on the porch.

"Riley? Would you please leave us alone for a moment?" my mom asked.

"Sure." She shrugged and turned around. When she was that far away so, she couldn't hear us talking anymore my mom breathed deeply and put an arm around me.

"I can't believe you're doing this..." she muttered.

"Mom..." I sighed.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm gonna let you go. But... I'm a bit worried 'cause I don't know if you're ready for this..." she went on.

"Mom... I'm not gonna leave you forever. I'll be back in a few weeks." I smiled.

"I didn't mean that. I mean... I don't know if you're ready to... to sleep with a... man."

I could feel my cheeks blush.

"Mom... please? I don't think you should be worried 'bout that. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself..." I said.

"I know. I'm so proud on you 'cause I know you're a good kid and you won't do anything you're not ready for. But I don't think it's bad if you got a little help..."

She gave me something small and squarish and rustling. At first, I didn't know what it was but when I looked at it my eyes widened in horror and my jaw dropped.

"Mom?" I breathed and kept staring at the condom which was already placed onto my leg.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

"Bye, hun... You can thank me later but now you should say good bye to Riley. She's waiting for you and... Jack's gonna be here in a minute." She kissed my forehead gently and went inside while I was still staring at the condom.

"Riley!" I exclaimed and waited for her to come. When she was standing in front of me I pointed at the small red package. Her only reaction was grinning.

"Your mom is a genius!"

"I don't think so..." I replied. Then, Riley hugged me and rubbed my back gently. "I love you..." she muttered. "I love you, too but I gotta go now."

Jack pulled in the car and got off of it.

"Bye!" I waved to Riley and smiled on last time.

...

About one hour later we were all sitting in the bus. Flyzik's driving while Vinny's been making pancakes. Why? I dunno. I think they just like them.

Jack and I just finished our walkabout. I decided to love the bus and so, I told them.

"You definitely won't love it anymore if our clothes are strewn everywhere." Zack answered smiling.

"Not if, Zack, when." Alex grinned.

"Oh, I don't think my room's tidy so, I won't mind." I mentioned.

"You'll mind the smell and I think you'll also mind if you can't see that fucking floor anymore." Rian muttered.

"What do you wanna do now?" Jack asked. Sometimes he seemed to be like that kind of child who always needs something to do.

"I dunno... Let's make out and have rough sex in the bunk." I answered grinning.

"Okay" Jack replied.

"Nah... Maybe later. The pancakes are definitely smelling way too... delicious."

He pouted and I can't believe yet that the first thought running through my mind was something like "aww... cute.". We were talking 'bout sex. S. E. X. Usually, that's nothing cute.

"Don't be sad 'bout that... I love you, though." I muttered and leaned against Jack.

"Stop sucking up." he answered but put his arms around me.

"Dinner's served!" Vinny announced. He was looking like a grandma after finishing her popular cookies.

"Vinny... First of all... It's just 3pm so, it's not dinner. Second... These are pancakes, not a turkey or something like that. Not a dinner. And Third... You're not gay hopefully..." Zack said.

"I gotta admit you're right with the first and second point but... Can't you remember that night at London? When you told me you love me and I told you the same? I meant it." Vinny answered seriously. Then, his facial expression became disappointed.

"Oh, come on, hun... I do love you." Zack tried to hug Vinny but he just hit his shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

"Are they gonna be like that the whole time long?" I asked. Jack nodded.

"Yup..."

"Er... okay. I think the floor and it's conspicuousness isn't gonna be my biggest problem..."


	29. Chapter 28

A few days later, All Time Low had their first show of that tour. Usually, Jack and I were hanging out or doin' sick shit with Alex, Rian, Zack and the rest of the crew and I can tell that Grieco's definitely one of the craziest guys I've ever met.

I was lying on my bunk when Jack headed for me.

"Mary?"

"I'm here..." I yawned. Actually, I wasn't weary, those people are just quite a handful, though...

"The soundcheck's gonna be 'bout 6pm so, we got some time to walk around but we can stay here if you're tired." he said.

"Nah, it's okay. I wanna leave that place for a while. My legs were quite useless yesterday and I gotta change that." I muttered.

"Dammit!" he grinned, then grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bus. "What do you wanna do?"

I just shrugged.

"I dunno... But I think I'm hungry." I replied. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"You think you're hungry?"

My stomache rumbled and I had to laugh.

"Okay, I know I'm hungry. And... I go for cheeseburgers. Yup, definitely cheeseburgers." I answered.

"That's one the many reasons why I love you. You like my favourite kind of food." Jack mumbled and kissed my forehead gently.

It was 5.34pm. I don't know why but it made me a bit miserable that he had to leave me. Don't blame me for that. If someone told me a few months ago that his girlfriend didn't want him to play at his own show... I think I'd been quite upset but know I was that bitchy, titchy, selfish cow. Okay, maybe that sounds a bit hard. Maybe I'm just that bitchy, titchy, selfish girl who doesn't want her boyfriend to do what he loves. Honestly, if you're thinking 'bout it that way... I gotta stay true, I didn't change my mind and I still wanted him to stay with me.

Although, I couldn't tell him 'cause I was pretty embarrassed about that and I just wanted to pretend everything's okay.

"Aw... I think I gotta go..." he muttered and put his arms around me.

"Mh... okay, then." I replied, trying not to sound too sad.

"Actually, I'd rather like to stay here..." Jack said.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean, you know, I love it to play live and it's quite cool that there are so many girls in there who want me to get into their beds but..." He breathed deeply and didn't seem to know what to say.

"I know." I mumbled. Why didn't I let him finish speaking? Sometimes I could slap my own face just because of my stupidity.

"Jack! We gotta go, dude." Alex almost screamed.

"Sure. Don't wait for me. I'm right behind you." he replied.

"You always are, hun!" Honestly, they were the the most gay straight people I know.

"So, what I wanted to say is..." His lips wandered across my cheek and stopped right next to my ear. "You're the only girl who's allowed to want me in her bed."

My eyes widened and I'm so very sure I blushed. But then I began to grin and nodded.

"I know and even though our... _bed_ isn't that far away... You gotta go..." I couldn't help but streaking his neck with the tip of my tongue.

"Alex! I'll stay here!" Jack exclaimed and hugged so tightly I couldn't really breath anymore.

"Jack... Air!... Can't... breath!"

He chuckled and let me go again.

"You can stay backstage if you want to." Jack proposed but I just shook my head. "Nah... If you're not there it's not funny and... I thought you gotta meet some of your fans?"

He pouted and I always gave in.

"You could help me!" Vinny said. The only reason why he wanted me to come with him was he didn't like to talk to all these little girls, screaming and smiling just because they're gonna buy an All Time Low shirt. Okay, maybe they're not screaming because of that but... They are screaming, I swear. I gotta know it, a few weeks ago I was one of them.

"Yay. So, I know what I'm gonna do. Bye, sweetheart!" I waved to Jack and headed for Vinny who was just standing there.

"You're gonna wonder how many girls in one hall can have their strawberry-week at the same time." he said and rolled his eyes.

"Er... What's the strawberry-week?" I asked.

"Let's pretend you're not a girl... I would tell you... That's the time when girls usually don't want to have sex because they'd paint your cock red." he answered.

"Oh... I... I think I know what you mean." I mumbled.

"So... when are you gonna have you're strawberry-week again?" Vinny wanted to know.

"I definitely won't answer that question but... why?"

He just shrugged.

"I'd tell Jack when he shouldn't come near your vagina."

"I think that's my part..." I muttered.

"Even though I like to talk 'bout vaginas... We should begin to bring the boxes to the 'merch area'." he replied.

"Okay." I shrugged and followed him.


	30. Chapter 29

You know what? I think I hate more than 99% of all 12 – 15 year old girls at All Time Low concerts. Reasons?

They are definitely able to scream loud. Way too loud.

They want to fuck my boyfriend.

They want to fuck his best friend.

Their voices are terrible.

Their hate me just because I've got a backstage ticket.

Their want to kill me to get my backstage ticket.

I don't wanna be killed.

I can hear them talk about my boyfriend's penis.

Luckily, they didn't know I'm together with Jack 'cause I don't know what they'd do if they knew. The funniest thing 'bout helping Vinny was watching him 'cause all those little humans wanted to take some photos with him and all the time when he came back to me he was mumbling something like "fuck off" or "shut the fuck up" oder "fuck" oder "fucking hell, man!"... Definitely something concerning the word "fuck".

"Why do you work as a merch guy if you don't like it to stay in contact with the fans?" I asked.

"I don't hate to meet them or something like that. I just hate their faces when I tell them that I don't got any shirts in their sizes or when I can't help everybody at once. They're just fucking impatent!" he answered. I giggled.

"Maybe we could change places for the moment?" I proposed.

"If you think you can handle those people... sure!" Vinny replied.

"Great. Let's see." I just shrugged.

A few minutes later I knew what he was talking 'bout. One or two times I was asked 'bout Vinny. They wanted to know where he was and if he came back.

"Sure he does." I answered and kept smiling. Then somebody asked me why I was there and not Vinny. "He just needed some fresh air. He'll be back in a minute." I replied and still kept smiling. But then, somebody came up to me and wanted to know who I was. That person wasn't nice at all so, I just tried to pretend not to hear a thing. It was quite loud in there and the show was 'bout to start.

"Hey, hey, you!" that person shouted and grabbed my arm.

"What?" I just asked and turned around.

"I saw you kissing Jack outside. You're so cute together!" she grinned. Her hair was quite long and blonde and her eyes were... blue. Too blue.

"Sure we are." Someone behind me answered, put his arms around me and pulled me backwards. "I mean, I'm part of it. It must be cute."

"No, if you're part of something it must be concerning dick jokes." Anybody screamed and 50% of the people to stand around us were laughing even though they didn't understand everything. But then, Vinny came up to us, winked and tried not to show how much he hated teenage girls.

"Let's go..." Jack whispered into my ear and pulled me to the backstage area.

"Aw, honey... There are three instructions you gotta learn. First, don't ever talk to our fans if you're not one of them, if you're not one of us or if you're not a crew member. Otherwise, they'll eat you're bones like jelly beans. Second, sex is the best activity ever created. Third, pizza's always right." Jack told me and I had to laugh.

"Thanks" I muttered and leaned against his chest. "I can hear your heart beating..."

"How does it sond like?" Jack asked.

"It's... you gotta see a cardiologist, definitely... That's... that's way too fast." I answered.

"I think I know the reason why it's beating like that."

"Me! I'm the reason!" I exclaimed.

"I... I think... I guess you're right." Jack mumbled. You know those moment you wanna keep forever? That one was near these moments.

"Jack you fucker! What the fuck? Why aren't you... oh..."

Matt's the nicest person in the world. Sure he is.

"Sorry..." He muttered and turned around again. Jack sighed. "I think we should break up. If we're gonna stay together I don't think I'm gonna be able to play any show. Never."

"Jack... You gotta go now. And when you come back we'll go to the bus and you'll shower and then we'll lie on our bunk and make out for hours. But you can't dissapoint those people. They came to see you." I answered and suddenly my words began to make sense. Weird.

"Yay! I totally agree. Except that shower thing. I don't like it to shower."

"If you won't shower I won't let you touch my boobs. Your choice." I replied.

"I'm gonna shower. I'm definitely gonna shower."


	31. Chapter 30

It almost took a month until Jack was able to jump around again. Finally, he stopped talking like a gay person.

"Thankfully, our fans gonna stop fucking me up..." he mumbled. I nodded.

"Sure. But I hope they'll stop asking me 'bout you, your nose and our relationship. I mean, I like your fans, I was one of them, but sometimes, if you gotta answer the same question over and over... It's harassing." I replied.

"You know what? Tonight, we can sleep in a bed. In a normal bed." he muttered and smiled dreamily.

"Whoo-hoo!" I exclaimed. Granted, the bunk wasn't that but a real bed had to be better.

"Aw, Jack! There you are! I was looking for you everywhere! Oh, hi Mary!" Alex said.

"Hey..." I answered and started to search for Riley's phone number 'cause I texted her almost every day.

_Hey hun! Gonna sleep in a real bed tonight. What bout you? Oh, and Zack asked me bout you yesterday. Should I care? xx, Mary :D_

It only took her a few seconds to answer. Or I thought so.

_Hey sexy! Nah, don't care. We texted yesterday and I wasn't able to answer so, he must've been thinking something happened or anything. Uuh! A real bed! You know what that means!_

At first, I didn't understand what she was talking about but then I realized. My jaw dropped and I think my eyes widened.

"Mary? Is everything okay?" Jack asked when he saw my face. I just shook my head. "No, it's nothing. Riley's just... weird." I mumbled and tried to breath normally again.

"Okay" he chuckled, "I'm hungry. You want something?"

"Nah, thanks. I'm not hungry at all."

"I'll be back in a minute."

He kissed my forehead and left so, I was alone. All alone. And I decided to call Riley. I needed to talk to her. In a case of emergency, you should always call your best friend.

"Mary! Hey! How are you? I missed your voice so badly!"

"Riley, I don't got time to pretend we're a lesbian couple. Did I get it right, you mean we're gonna have..."

"...sex tonight? Yeah. That's exactly what I was talking about." she answered seriously.

"Oh..." I breathed. Riley giggled and I couldn't believe she was laughing at me.

"You're the worst friend I could ever imagine..." muttered.

"Calm down, sweet heart! I mean, You're together since..."

"Six weeks and three days." I replied. Yeah. The tour was coming near it's end and there was just one week left 'til we'd get home again.

"Aw... Cute." Riley smiled.

"Shut the fuck up, dude. That's not cute. That issue's not cute at all. I need your help."

"Breath, darling, breath. Do you think he'll make you to sleep with him?" she asked.

"No..." I mumbled.

"So, just wait 'til you know if you're ready or not. I'm sure Jack'll understand it."

"I hope so."

"Oh, Mary... He's not gonna rape you!"

"Maybe..." I breathed.

"Okay. I gotta hang up now. Mom and dad want me to have dinner with'em. I love you! Oh, and if you're not a virgin anymore... text me. Whenever you want to."

Great.

"Mary? Is anything wrong?" Matt asked suddenly and put a hand onto my shoulder. I almost screamed. "Oh, fuck... Sorry, you just scared the shit outa me..." I mumbled.

"Sorry... So?" He was smiling at me and there was something soothing in his gaze which made me feel less nervous so, I decided to tell him. Not everything. Just... A little bit.

"Oh... Er... I dunno how to say..." I replied. Actually, Rian was some kind of best friend to me. He was looking like a teddy bear.

"Jack's eating. You can tell me everything." Matt grinned. He obviously didn't know how right he was.

"We're gonna stay at a hotel tonight and..."

"I know what you wanna tell me..." he answered. Why the hell does everyone know it except me? I could feel my cheeks blush.

"And I know why you're that nervous and... pale... and I know Jack seems to be a quite ignorant person considering the feelings of a 17-year-old girl but I'm pretty sure he loves you so... don't worry." He stroke my back gently and smiled at me again, then he stood up and left me, too.

At 10:35pm we got to the hotel room. Jack just fell onto the bed, closed his eyes and smiled. Then he sat up, opened his arms and looked at me, expecting I'd let him hug me but I just stood there and looked at him nervously.

"Mary?" he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Mh?" My throat felt dry and I had to swallow a few times 'til I was able to speak again.

His arms sank onto the bed and he stopped smiling.

"I'm sorry... I just feel a bit... weak today." I answered and rubbed my eyes.

"You're sure? And there isn't anything you wanna tell me?" he mumbled.

I couldn't answer 'cause if I said no I'd lie and if I said yes I'd to tell him what's wrong so, I just continued standing there and lowered my gaze.

He slid to the rim of the bed and looked at me inquiringly. My heart sank into my boots and my knees became jelly. I had to sit down and there was nothing but the place right next to him. Slowly, I breathed in deeply.

"You're sure everything's fine?" he asked again. I just shook my head.

"I dunno how to tell you..." I mumbled.

Jack's jaw dropped and he seemed to be quite shocked.

"Are you planning to break up or what?" he wanted to know.

"What?" I muttered scaredly.

"You're pretty weird today." Jack went on.

"Thanks..."

"You know what I mean." he replied and put an arm around me. I couldn't help but feeling uncomfortable.

"That's what I'm talking about. You seem to be a bit... disgusted by me."

"What? No, no!" I answered.

"So... what is it?"

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one to ignore the obvious things...

"I can't tell you..."

"What ever it is, I won't let it tear us apart... Mary, I love you. You can tell me everything..."

I could feel the tears filling up my eyes. Not because I was sad, it just made me cry how much he cared about me.

"I'm so very sorry..." I said and put my arms desperately around him. "I don't wanna break up, Jack, I love you, too... And I don't think that's gonna change soon but... I was just a bit scared, nothing else." I answered, hoping he wouldn't ask of what.

"Why?" Oh, great...

"Jack, look around the room. Where are we?"

"We're at a hotel." he replied seriously.

"And we're alone. What am I supposed to think 'bout that situation?"

Jack blinked a few times, then he started to laugh.

"What are you laughing about?" I asked.

"Sorry, but... you were thinking I'd try to get laid?" He continued chuckling and I almost became desperate.

"Mary, I'd never force you to do anything you don't wanna do. Didn't you listen to anything I said? I love you."

Jack seemed to be quite... relieved by the fact he finally told me.

"So... you're not angry with me?" I asked sheepishly.

"Oh, Mary... I was never angry with you." He kissed my temple and sighed. "Why should I be?"

"I dunno... Sorry." I smiled and placed my lips on his jaw.

"Wait... Don't move..." He mumbled, turned around so, our lips could crash.

"I love you, even though you're the weirdest person I know." he muttered.

"And I love you, even though you're the most childish 22-year-old guy I can imagine."


	32. Chapter 31

It was the last day of the tour. Tomorrow, we'd come home. And for some reason, I was quite sad about that. I mean... The last few weeks were funny and interesting and I spent most of the time with Jack. But I had to go home. School would start soon and Riley was probably missing me. Also, I couldn't leave my mom alone. She'd kill herself, trying to make some cupcakes.

It wasn't only the last day, this evening, it was the last show, too. Matt seemed to be a bit more relaxed and somehow happy. The rest of the crew and the band were... melancholic.

"I can't believe it's over..." Rian mumbled.

"Yeah, me, too." I replied.

"I hope you had fun." Alex said and smiled. I nodded and smiled back. "I think I've never laughed so much before. But, why are you so sad? Aren't you happy to see your family and your friends again?" I asked.

"Oh, I am, but, you see... To play live shows... That's my life. It's great to see how happy 14-year-old girls are when they're on one of our shows. And, I love it when they're screaming my name." I had to laugh. It's redicioulus how often they screamed "Alex! I love you!" or "Do you wanna marry me?".

"And it's just great to see how much people like our music. That's why we're doing this." He went on.

"How long are you gonna stay at home?" I wanted to know.

"Not that long... Three weeks I think."

My jaw dropped.

"Didn't Jack tell you?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "No..." I answered.

"Speak of the devil..." Rian muttered when Jack came up to us.

"Huh?" He yawned, then sat down next to me.

"Oh. Nothing. Alex just told me you're not gonna stay at home that long." I said.

They exchanged glances. Jack's was asking "What the fuck, bro?" and Alex' was saying "So sorry, bro.".

"When did you wanted to tell me?"

"I don't know but... I didn't mean to ruin your last days with us." he replied. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if I should be annoyed or if I just should try to deal with it.

"You're angry with me, right?" Jack asked and lowerd his gaze. Okay, I wasn't annoyed anymore if I ever was...

"Nah... I'm not. It's just... I don't want you to leave me..." I whispered and put my arms around him. From the corner of my eye I could see Alex who folded his hands and blinked a few times. I'd rather slapped his face most of all. But then, Jack kissed me and Alex grimaced. That was way better than hitting him.

I didn't want to ask when they'd come back, I prefered to ignore the fact we won't be able to see us for at least six weeks. But, honestly, I didn't even think of Jack and me being together after he left. I mean... I loved him and he loved me but... I was 17 and I couldn't just wait for him to come back and stay with me for five weeks a year. Next year, I'd graduade, I'd go to college... I'd probably leave my hometown. On the other hand... Maybe I should just go on. Maybe I should wait for him. But if I'd do that I'd have to give up all my dreams. We were together for like two months or something... And I didn't even know if I was ready for that kind of relationship. What if Jack found someone else? We just met because Riley had those tickets. They could meet some fans again and... what if he liked on of them? If he fell for her and forgot about me? Thinking about that didn't help me. It just made me feel sicker and more sad.

"You know I can read your thoughts, don't you?" Jack asked and smiled half-hearted.

"No, I didn't. What have I been thinking of?" I answered, replying that smile.

"You're thinking of how to break up with me."

Honestly, I didn't know what to answer 'cause actually, I was just pittying myself and thinking of the many ways I could be disappointed by the end of our relationship. My jaw dropped and I could feel the tears filling up my eyes.

"Why do you say that?"

"I can see it. Your thinking of how we could break up when I leave you and we both know that'd be aweful. So, your trying to figure out if there's any way to make it easier." he mumbled and looked at his fingers.

"What? No... No! Just because I'm a bit sad I'm not thinking of breaking up with you... Jack... I... I still love you." I mumbled.

"Yeah... That's what makes it that hard, right?"

I didn't know what to say, not at all.

"I did never ever think of breaking up with you, Jack. You don't know how much I love you if you think that." Desperately, I wrapped my armes around him and clung at this lanky weird dude... "Please, don't..." I whispered over and over.

It was getting dark outside and suddenly, I recognized that highway. In about twenty minutes, we'd get home. "I don't wanna go home..." I muttered and started to kiss his neck, even though I was just about to cry. "And... where do you wanna go then?"

"Actually, I thought about spending the night with you..."

I could hear him swallow. Yes, he knew what I was talking about. It wasn't that hard to understand. "Your mom's gonna be worrying..." he said.

"No... She won't. I'll text her that there were some complications and that we're gonna come back tomorrow."

"But then you won't be able to keep your promise..." Oh, Jack didn't sound like someone who was really about to safe my virginity.

"I don't mind... She's not gonna find out." I answered.

"But you gotta live with it for the rest of your life." he went on.

"Jack, please... I love you, and... I just want you to be the one. I trust you and I love you, way more than I should..."

"Yeah, I see..." His voice cracked and I knew he wouldn't go on trying to resist.

"Please... I want you... I just want you..." I whispered and almost wondered about my ability to act that naiv and needy. Instead of answering, he just lifted my head with a finger and crashed his lips with mine.

I was about to have sex with someone who'd have to leave me soon, with someone I probably won't see again after those six weeks. And I didn't even mind. It was time to do it and I should stop running from that like a childish little girl. I loved him and there was nothing left to do than to make sure he knew how much I needed him and how much I'd miss him. And if the only way to do that included having sex with someone I really loved I could do it. The more I was talking and thinking about that, I just realized that was the way I was actually feeling and even though I wasn't really able to think clearly anymore I just knew that was the right decission. Anyways, I just wanted him to make me feel like we're the only persons on this fucking planet, I just wanted to be as near to him as possible and I just wanted to bind us irrevocably, to got a memory I'd never forget.


	33. Chapter 32

I was quite nervous when I could see Jack's house. Actually, you don't know exactly when you're gonna lose your virginity. But I did and it didn't help, though. The tour bus parked in front if that house and Danny and Matt helped us to carry the suitcases. Zack, Rian, Alex plus the entire crew came up to us and said goodbye. Somehow, I had that feeling that this could be the last time to see them. I felt a sob in my throat. They were somekind of my best friends and I didn't want to lose them. Espessially Rian, Alex and Matt. They were like brothers to me. But I didn't want them to be sad 'bout anything, so, I forced myself to smile and ignored that aggressiv prick, stabbing my heart.

I waved to them a few times, then they left. Jack and I were alone now and that upcoming event made my knees feel like jelly. He placed his armes around me and kissed my forehead gently. "I'd like to shower… Is that okay?" I asked. "Sure…" he answered.

My hands were still shivering when I opened the tap. The warm water helped me to focus on the two most important things I had to pretend and to believe: First of all, I was okay. Everything was absolutely fine and great and awesome. Second, it was okay and I wanted it. Actually, I really wanted it but the nearer the moment of truth came the more nervous became I. That's normal, I think, but there's always a first time. For absolutely everything.

I wrapped myself in a towel and comped my hair. Then, I entered Jack's bedroom. He was lying on that king-size bed and looking at the ceiling. "I'm done. Your turn, honey." I tried to smile and suddenly, it felt right. He stood up, a smile playing on his lips. "Don't worry… I'll rush." he mumbled. My heart skipped a beat. He closed the door and suddenly, I was alone. He'd hurry up? Fuck… There it was again, that nervousness that made me feel like huge jello. What was I supposed to do now? I didn't even know if I should put on some clothes ore if I just should wait for him.

Finally, I decided to keep at the towel. It wouldn't take that long to get rid of it. I sat down on the foot of the bed, leant back and slid upwards. I closed my eyes and repeated this "I'm okay… I want that… I want him…" thing again and again. I had to make myself believe that everything was okay and that I just had to let all those unsettling thoughts go, 'cause I knew it shouldn't be that hard. I thought it over. I'd remember this night for the rest of my life. That was what I wanted.

A few minutes later, Jack left the bathroom. He was just wearing boxers. I bit my bottom lip and kept staring at him while my cheeks blushed. Really, I had to keep my blood circuit under controle. His hair was wet, just like mine, but the difference was that his hair was totally waveless. With a gentle smile, he started to kiss me. I did my best to reply that kiss passionately and lovingly. "You know you don't have to do that…" he muttered and suddenly, I became a bit angry. "Why do you think are we here now? Do you really think I don't wanna do this?" I averted my gaze, sighed and finally, I smiled cheekily. "No, but… I don't want you to jump the gun on anything. You're my girl and I want you to feel safe and comforted and most of all I want you to be sure. I want you to think of me like some kind of… uh, I dunno how to say… I… I just don't want you to remember me like a egoistic asshole…"

That was the moment. The moment I made my final decission. The moment when I realized that it was okay, that I was fine with everything and that I'd never regret anything. "Sh… You shouldn't be talking anymore…" I mumbled and kissed him impulsively. With every second that passed, I could feel how he gave up his resistance. Somehow, I really can't remember how, he got in top of me and while he was kissing my throat.

Mentally, I cursed at the towel. I wanted it to disappear. Jack was obviously thinking the same. With his eyes closed, he pulled at that piece of cloth. I don't have to say that I was totally naked now huh? Well, I was. Jack let his gaze drift downwards but I didn't feel uncomfortable, even though I was waiting for that feeling to come. Slowly, I started to stroke his waist up and down before I began to play with the band of his boxers. Jack anticipated me and took the last cloth off. I wrapped my legs around his torso and placed my arms around his neck as he let himself inside of me. He seemed to be worrying bout me but... Honestly, it doesn't hurt. Not even one second. I kissed him hard as he started to move back and forth. His hands seemed to touch every single inch of my body. There were no thoughts coming through my mind except of something like "Oh my god". I started wondering why I could've been scared of sleeping with him. Jack knew how to make me feel good and how to put me first.

I couldn't fall asleep for a long time 'cause I was thinking too much of too many different things. It must have been bout 2am when I realized that I wasn't the only one who wasn't able to sleep. "Jack? Are you awake?" I whispered, but I knew he was, even though he didn't answer. "I know you are... Is everything okay?"

Instead of saying anything, he just snuffled. I turned around and placed one hand onto his shoulder. "Jack... Please..." I mumbled. He didn't move. "Jack Bassam Barakat, I'm gonna leave if you're not gonna answer..." Okay, he didn't talk still, but now, he turned around, too. And then I could see why he didn't want to say something. His eyes were reddened and so were his cheeks. He sniffed again and I could see those glistening tears running down his face. Okay, I admit it, I was quite shocked. "Jack!... Why are you crying?" I asked desperately. He sighed, but now he'd tell me what's wrong. "I'm just sad." he replied. "I don't even know why... But I'm sad." His voice cracked and I couldn't help but kissing him. I knew it wouldn't help. I just needed to be nearer to him. "No... Jack... You don't need to. I love you..."

"Yeah, but I gotta leave you and I know you'll forget about me..." he mumbled.

"No, Jack, I won't. I won't ever forget about you. You're my only one..." I whispered.

He didn't say anything so, I kissed him again and didn't stop until I had to yawned. "I love you..." I muttered into his ear. His breath became more smooth and after a few minutes he finally fell asleep. Yeah, I won't be able to forget about him. He cried just because he was frightened I could forget that I loved him. I didn't deserve Jack. Not at all.


End file.
